I woke up yesterday morning with a raging sore throat and knew I’d have to slip out of work and see a doctor. I was hoping to score an antibiotic and slip back to work without arising suspicion.

I dread throat cultures. Enough to get so worked up about it I’m just short of combative. The nurse gave it her best try and failed miserably. When the doctor showed up I said, “Listen, I can do my own throat culture. I know I can.”

Doc said, “I don’t have a problem with that. Go ahead.” He handed me the swab and trust me, it’s much easier to swab your own throat.

Do you have trouble with this too?

The doctor was impressed with my swabbing skill (I got the impression that no patient of his had ever taken matters into their own hands before.) He knew I did it right by my watery eyes and flushed cheeks. Unfortunately I do have strep throat so I won’t be returning to the office for a couple of days. Now I’m just hoping I don’t infect the rest of the family.

Best friend Mel will love to hear this — she did her dissertation on Streptococcus bacteria — a big fan of the little guys that are making me so miserable right now.

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