I’ve had several “we’re not in Missouri anymore” moments in the last week. That crack in the wall of reality opened just a bit wider lately and I’ve been slipping through it often.

Seen at Harris Teeter
For those of you outside the southeast, Harris Teeter is an upscale grocery chain. Keep your jokes to yourself. I’ve written about the strange items people choose to wear when shopping (stretch pants anywhere, on almost anyone, low-rise pants with VT (visible thong), pajamas) but this one made me do a double take. I noticed the odd, short tapered pants out of the corner of my eye and had to take a full look before I realized the woman picking out breakfast cereal next to me was wearing a riding outfit. Welcome to Charlottesville!

The Janitor at the Talent Show
Our daughter performed with her Brownie troop at the school talent show last night. Where we come from, we had no talent shows that mostly featured kids lip synching or throwing themselves about the stage for the extended dance versions of popular songs. The most memorable talent show past featured a special guest, the school janitor performing Nickelback’s How You Remind Me. Disturbing beyond belief.

Last night, however, we witnessed actual talent! Kids playing piano, cello, violin; kids singing (sometimes in German!) and dancing actual choreographed numbers; kids demonstrating Tae Kwon Do and telling jokes that were funny! And, thankfully, no janitors.

The Band Competition
Our son told us on Wednesday that he needed a tux shirt, bow tie (red), cuff links and black pants for Saturday’s band competition.

Um, yeah.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but this is not a normal world. Our son has a wingspan of 6′8″, a waist of 34″ and an inseam of 38″. So we did our best — Dad took him to the big guys store, I took him to the formal wear store and together we got him outfitted in time for the concert where the band sounded as good as many professional bands we’ve heard, and the school took top honors.

So what if his sleeves were 3/4 length?

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