Well, this one slipped under the radar. How could a movie starring Jack Nicholson, directed by Sean Penn, including Sharon Stone, Robin Wright Penn (Princess Buttercup!) have gone so utterly unnoticed?

Maybe it stunk?

Not unlike the crossing guard situation here, in beautiful Albemarle County. Did I mention that I heard nary a reply from our delegate? You should know that the guard-free condition persists and will, until fall 2007. The children can take buses to and from school, no matter how close they live. This, of course is a limited time offer, the buses will be cancelled once trained crossing guards are installed.

Trained? you ask. Why, yes. Over the summer, because it apparently takes three months to appropriately train an adult to halt traffic and protect children as they cross the street, a selection of teachers and perhaps volunteers (this is unclear) will be certified as legal crossing guards, thus eliminating any liability on the part of the school, or the guards.

In the meantime, the walkers, they DASH, oh, how they dash across the street at the crosswalk, some fearful the cars will spring into gear at any moment. Others meander, making weekend plans or horsing around with friends. Some take the bus for the sheer adventure (for some, it’s the first school bus they’ve ever ridden). The girl? She bundles up and stomps her way to the school, me in tow, keeping a close eye and guiding her safely across the street.

I’d like Jack Nicholson to come be our celebrity crossing guard for a day. Jack would scare the crap out of that fifth grade twerp who is always picking on the younger kids. The SAHMs at the corner would be swooning all along the bike path. Those antsy drivers wouldn’t dare try to zip through the crosswalk without stopping getting a stare down from under those devilish eyebrows. Yeah, I’d like Jack to come help the kids cross the street. Maybe then everyone would see how utterly ridiculous all of this has become.

In the transition from St. Louis to Charlottesville, I’ve focused a lot on what is different between the two. After a year, I find that I’ve changed as a result of having a foot planted in each.

• I am now friendlier to acquaintances (when you have few friends, you’d better be)
• I have a friend who says “to-mah-to”
• I am much more likely to approach strangers
• I am open to hanging out with people with whom I’ve been acquainted for less than 17 years (I’ll admit it, I was in a friend rut)
• I am more conscious of what I look like when I leave the house (in STL, I never once ran into someone I knew while at the grocery store. In C’ville, it’s guaranteed)
• I eat sushi
• I know who the Dave Matthews Band is (as in, I would know DM if I saw him on the street)
• I am more relaxed
• My stress is more concentrated/compressed/targeted
• I drive less than 45 mph at all times, unless I’m in STL
• I feel like I belong
• I’m often wistful
• I am a seasoned, frequent flyer (I don’t even get nervous anymore)
• I write more, am more introspective and slightly more introverted, all a result of working solo in a home office
• I’m taller. No, I can’t be; I just feel that way because there’s a whole new crop of people unused to my freakish height

Have you changed at all in the past year? Why?