Dear Jaggers Family,

I am writing you on behalf of your fellow parishioners. It seems that those with the misfortune of being seated behind you are suffering from great difficulty, not being able to see the altar due to the significant height of your family. We must humbly request that you refrain from sitting in the first 25 rows, at a minimum. In fact, we think it would be best for the entire parish if you were to take seats in the back row from now on.

If it is not too much trouble, we would also like to request that when you rise for communion, if you would not all stand in unison. The enormity of your clan rising collectively is quite disruptive and frightening to some of the younger children. Thank you for your understanding.

As you know, we at __________ parish are accepting of all types of people. We welcome your family and the diversity you bring to our community.

Finally, we hope you will join us for Sister Elizabeth’s Shortcake Social this Saturday.

Warm regards,

Father G.

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