I’ve written about my friend M. before, in a fit of anger over the cancer she’s battling, pressed down on a day when I could make no peace with reality. Tonight she dragged herself out for sushi, just because I’m in town — even though today was a new cycle of chemo — even though today was a BAD day.

She looks better that she did earlier this year, although she probably doesn’t believe me when I tell her so. It’s clear when she’s miserable. Tonight she couldn’t wait to get home. She was uncharacteristically quiet. I didn’t hear her drop an F-bomb once.

I worry . . . and that’s useless . . . but I’m not sure what else to do. Cancer disables so much more than one’s body; that much I’ve learned. I hug her like she might break and regret the miles between us, regret that I can’t see her but once in awhile. She knows, at least, that when I’m here she’s an unmovable appoinment on the agenda, that being with her cancels out all else, that seeing her is more important to me than anything else I might do while I’m in town.

Life. Friends. If we can just hang on a little longer.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 17th, 2007 at 10:48 pm and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.