Our kids are gone. The girl is on the great grandparent tour of 2008, visiting my in-laws, my husband’s grandparents and my parents. The boy has a night job which means he’s off to work before we finish our workdays and home long after we’re asleep. It’s awfully quiet around the house.
MAN, IS IT GREAT!
We’re experiencing how the other half lives, or what our lives will be like with the empty nest. We don’t really know how to do this so dinners are still made for four and we have a fridge full of leftovers. We often sit and just look at one another. After we’re done talking about our days and updates on the kids we just fall silent, and go about pursuing our separate interests. We have much more to say to the dog, who is taking on the role of surrogate child for the time being.
Yesterday, during a conversation with a friend, I invited her to dinner. It was a very spur-of-the-moment invitation. We hadn’t seen each other for some time and so I said, hey, come on over. I’ll even feed you. She accepted and I immediately began scheduling when I’d go to the store, what I’d make for dinner, how I’d clean up the house and when. I remembered to IM my husband to tell him about our unexpected dinner guest.
Somehow I managed it; cleaning up while dinner cooked (stuffed shells, salad and cheesebread) and even YES, baking a chocolate chip bourbon pecan pie for dessert. (Pecan pie is one of the easiest, quickest pies to assemble. Baking takes about an hour so if you start the pie as you’re starting dinner, it will be ready to eat after it has cooled.) Our friend showed up right at 7pm, just as everything was coming out of the oven. We talked uncensored, (without kids ears at the table, no topic is verboten) laughed and shared some wine (me) and beer (my husband and my friend) and generally had a wonderful time.
I’m not much of an impromptu person, so this was quite a leap for me, but as soon as the offer was made, I was able to plan everything else.
Our kid-free evenings will continue for another week and of course I’m planning another painting project to take advantage of the three-day weekend. I’m filled with post-vacation ambition that will hopefully last the rest of the summer. It’s fun to be living the life of the childless, but only because I know she’ll be back soon and the boy will eventually have a day off from work.
I haven’t forgotten those endless days of toddlers and diapers, of not even being able to go to the bathroom by myself and never, ever having a moment alone. I’m here to tell you: those days DO end and you, too will have kid respite in your future. You’re gonna love it.
We had a few days of this a couple weeks ago and it was quite great!
We’ll be kidless for 8 days coming this Saturday. We are looking forward to watching all the movies that are inappropriate for our girl, eating at restaurants that she doesn’t like, and gasp! having some quality “alone” time that aren’t quickies.
For the last few years, my husband and I have embarked on childless road trips–good for all involved, we believe. We always miss her, and we wonder whether the girl should have come along, but we talk frequently on the phone and she has plenty to fill her days at home. I explain it as summer camp for mom and dad. There will be a family vaca later. We are on one now, and it is perfect for reconnecting at the basic level of man/woman–when we met, and before the responsibilities of a family, home, job, pets, etc. took precedence. Very nurturing–even though we always have at least one huge fight–and great to remind us how it all began–with a man and a woman, a woman and a man (really, we were more like a boy and a girl, but that isn’t how Peter Gabriel sings it).