A Letter to the Bride

Dear Anna,

When I married your cousin at the ripe old age of 18, you weren’t allowed to attend. Your parents feared that we (irresponsible teenagers that we were) would set a terrible example for you and drive you to repeat the same mistakes. I’m delighted, on this occasion of your wedding, at the ripe old age of far-beyond-eighteen that you elected not to follow in our footsteps. Since this year, ironically, marks our 20th wedding anniversary I wish only this: that you follow our example in having a long, loving marriage.

I’ve grown to understand your parents’ point of view, as now I have a 19-year-old of my own.

I want make sure that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we’re not coming to your wedding (in Memphis!) because we failed to budget, in time and in dollars, for three long-distance family trips this year. Mark and I are going to Hawaii, to have the honeymoon we didn’t have when we got married, and we’ll travel to the Midwest to be with family for Christmas this year. That’s it. It’s tough to live on the east coast, so far away from the people you love.

We will be with you in spirit! We love you and hope your wedding day is everything you’ve dreamed.

As an old married lady, I want to impart the advice my next-door-neighbor, an old married lady, gave me in the days before my wedding. She said, “One day, you’ll be sitting on the couch watching TV and you’ll look over and catch him picking his nose. You’ll think, ‘Ugh. What have I done?’ Just remember, you will come to love him even through times like these.”

She was right.

Much love,

Marijean

May 30th, 2009 | marijean | 2 Comments »

Lifeguards

I spent six summers in love with lifeguards. One, of course, in particular, but they were ever-present in my summer life and therefore, the subject of numerous seasonal crushes. The crushes stayed with me through the school year, the absence of the lifeguards and the pool like the aftertaste of strawberry soda; sweet and long to fade.

One lifeguard was a constant. I’ll call him Edward. I knew him first when I was an obnoxious, skinny kid, all ribs, elbows and knees, getting in trouble for running, dunking and goofing off in the diving well. Each summer we returned to the pool, he a bit older, with stories of college and his plans to attend seminary and me, a girl growing into a teenager, with insignificant high school concerns. My thoughts at that time went about as deep as the baby pool, selecting my brand of pop based on whether the color of the can matched the day’s swimsuit.

We had, however, long conversations over an empty pool on cloudy days or just before the pool closed for the day. He was four years older; why he put up with me hanging around, I’ll never know.

The summer I was sixteen, a girl I remembered only as chubby Emma from the dance classes we both took in elementary school, approached me at an event away from the pool. “Stay away from my brother,” she said. It took a minute for it to click; they had the same last name. She was Edward’s sister. I hadn’t put them together in my mind until that moment. “He’s got a girlfriend, you know.” In fact, I did know that, although he didn’t talk about it; I didn’t even know her name.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” I told her, and walked away. I wondered what she knew, or thought she knew. Edward and I had never done anything but talk, and yet, I’m sure everyone who belonged to the pool saw my schoolgirl crush on the lifeguard, plain as the zinc on his nose.

That summer ended; the pool closed. He was leaving and I was returning to a life of other, real boyfriends and books. He showed up at my house; a shock to this day. Even though we’d known one another for years and knew where one another lived, our relationship was confined to the pool; he’d never been to my house, I’d never been to his. We were saying goodbye, without really saying it at all.

Before he left, he kissed me, and although it makes my heart ache to think of it, I know I kissed him back. It was a moment I’d dreamed of summer after summer. A fantasy that got me through the winter, longing for warmer weather and the serenity of the pool. It was, I knew, a first kiss, and a last. The saddest kiss I’ve ever had, the last few seconds of the final time I ever saw him.

I suspect I was some kind of one-minute bachelor party; a last fling of a man who would go on to be a husband and a father. I don’t know what went through his mind as he drove to my house, some need for closure, or a test to find out if in fact, there was something between us that he shouldn’t ignore. I don’t know what it meant to him to this day, but for me, it was a loss of innocence, the end of a childhood baked in Coppertone, marinated in chlorine.

It was more than twenty years ago, but the memory of those summers, of that last kiss, returns to me each year as I pull on a new swimsuit and take my first dip in the pool.

May 27th, 2009 | marijean | Tags: , | 11 Comments »

C’ville Pie Down: The Video

All right — just this ONE LAST THING then I will shut up about pie already — until the fall. Enjoy! (Thanks, for the gazillionth time, to @stevewhitaker for this video and for just being Steve.)

May 27th, 2009 | marijean | Tags: , | 1 Comment »

Traveling with Baby: the WCAV CBS-19 Blog of the Week

This week’s Blog of the Week is one I featured in my Mom Blogs that Rock series, but it bears repeating, especially with television exposure! Traveling with Baby is the blog of chiropractor Dr. Dolly Garnecki; a blog gaining attention from Central Virginia moms and Dr. Dolly’s wide network of online first-time moms and blogging moms  looking for help and ideas for happy, healthy kids.

Over the holiday weekend, I conducted an e-mail interview with Dolly to prepare for the blogging segment. Here are some excerpts from our exchange:

MJ: What inspired you to begin blogging?

DG: I began blogging in 2004 at Chiropractic Perspectives to chronicle my experience in graduate school.  At the time, I was the only blogger at my college, and I only found a handful of other blogs by chiropractic students.  It became a working “yearbook” for my classmates and me.  When I was pregnant with my son in 2007 in my last year of chiropractic school, I thought it was appropriate to start a new blog to write about the life-changing experience, emotions, and non-stop travel that I would endure throughout pregnancy and beyond.  Although there were very few colleagues who blogged in graduate school, I suddenly found myself one of thousands of mom bloggers in a fantastic online writing community.

I moved 5 times from the time I was 6 months pregnant to the time my son was 8 months old.  My close friends and support group were thousands of miles away as I was transitioning into the most life-changing year of my life.  As much as I appreciated the phone calls from my girl friends, it was the mom blogging community with whom I connected regardless of my location.  Even though we’d never met face to face, we could lift one another up when times were rough: past-term baby, difficulty breastfeeding, months and months of sleepless nights, teething, etc.  There are scores of women who’ve been though it before, and they’ve blogged about it.  Writing is my release.  If I can put into words what I’m going through and how I’m handling it, then I can gain a greater peace in spite of seemingly endless chaos in the first few months of being a mom to a newborn.  Often, I receive comments from moms who appreciate that I posted about something that they’re currently going through.  We share our common experiences.  It’s lovely.

MJ: Where do you see the blog going?

DG: Traveling with Baby offers a unique perspective among other mom bloggers since I’m a chiropractor.  I’m no longer a stay at home mom, and even though I’m a working mom, my son is at work with me.  I’ve wanted to bridge the gap between a purely health-focused blog and mom blog.  I recently launched a new Friday column called Health Happy Round-Up which will feature yummy family-friendly recipes as well as nutritional information.  This column will also highlight natural treatment approaches to common health conditions including prevention and chiropractic care.  There will be topic-focused giveaways and product reviews such as ergonomic diaper bags and preventing skin cancer with UV sun protective clothing for babies and children.  I see this column as an area where I’ll be able to direct my chiropractic patients for further information as well as provide education for the mom blogging community with a chiropractor mom’s perspective.

MJ: As a chiropractor, has your blog helped build your business?
DG: I’ve learned so much more about marketing and PR through blogging which has helped me in the same arena with my practice.  My blog has helped me connect with local business owners and set up health talks within the Charlottesville community on topics related to ergonomics in breastfeeding and babywearing.  I’ve learned about branding, search engine optimization, and networking all through the mom blogging community.  It’s a fun hobby that’s turned into a part-time job that is beginning to integrate well with my practice that focuses on women and children’s health.

May 27th, 2009 | marijean | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Cville Pie Down: The Verdict

OK, so I didn’t win the Pie Down. But you know, I feel just as good about the whole experience as I would if I had won. (And I’ll be back. Rocky Balboa didn’t win his first fight, either.)

The Pie Down was so much fun — so many people were there and those who weren’t were following along online. It’s a fantastic social media/community building story, appropriately covered by the Daily Progress and NBC-29 (traditional media) as well as the place where it all started: Twitter.

There are SO many people to thank and recognize, so many who made the C’ville Pie Down a huge success:

Steve Whitaker, who took the ball and RAN like Forrest Gump

Jamie Schwartz, who wondered, online, who makes the best pie and who gave prizes to both competitors (because she’s just sweet like that)

Joe Meade, judge and enthusiast, who brought his four adorable children to the event

Cindy Maisannes, judge and cheerleader, promoting the heck out of the Pie Down all along

Sara Gould, judge who loves the chance to meet up with the C’ville Twitter gang (she works in Crozet and doesn’t often get to see us)

Mayor Dave Norris, (yes, he’s my personal friend Dave, too) who remained impartial and as usual, showed up without his security detail to mingle amongst the people.

Congressman Tom Periello for actually showing up, to the delight of many, because we invited him via Twitter.

A HUGE thank you to Mollie Bryan, our special guest; cookbook author and pie-love spreader, Mollie gave Brian and I each a copy of her new book, Mrs. Rowe’s Little Book of Southern Pies which is delightful (yes, I read it last night) and deeply appreciated.

Thank you to Barbara Hutchinson of the Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport, who donated a fabulous prize basket filled with all kinds of baking and cooking goodies (and my consolation prize of a very appropriate bottle of wine).

To Dan at Mudhouse Coffee for being an incredibly generous and wonderful host. (We love coffee with our pie!)

To Jennifer McKeever, esquire, who notarized the results, which means it’s official, Brian Geiger is the C’ville Pie Master (of spring, 2009; no, I’m not bitter).

Thank you to all of you who attended (and WOW there were a LOT of you) and/or followed along online. Photos and video of the event will appear on www.cvillepiedown.com in the next week or so.

And finally, the biggest thank you of all must go to The Food Geek himself, Brian Geiger, for accepting my “INSANE” challenge, for driving his wife Melanie nuts with his persnickety picking of perfect strawberries, for practicing pies (because I made him) and for showing up. Brian, you’re wonderful, and your pies are too.

I plan to return (and hope I’m not the Susan Lucci of local pie competitions) in the fall for the second Pie Down, planned for Crozet. I’m already thinking of apple pies, and pumpkin pies . . . and I bet you are, too.

May 25th, 2009 | marijean | Tags: | 4 Comments »
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