When Mom Gets Sick: Three Ways to Help a Family in Need

A friend of a friend has cancer. My friend wants to offer the family (a mom, dad and two young kids) some help and called to ask for some ideas. I know from the experiences of friends and family that during the weeks a patient is undergoing chemotherapy treatment, the days after treatment are the most difficult. I suggested three things for my friend to consider doing:

  1. Bring dinner to the family during treatment weeks (preferably, reheatable refrigerated or frozen stuff, in case it’s not needed immediately)
  2. Organize, with the other moms in the network (other parents of kids from the school) a few meals a week
  3. Offer to buy the kids’ school supplies when buying your own kids’ stuff — you’re going to be doing the shopping anyway, why not pick up two extra sets (they can reimburse you if it’s not a charity offer – in this situation, it’s not money they need, it’s support)

I’m running dry on ideas to offer my friend and I’m hoping you can help. This is a family that won’t ask for help and may have difficulty accepting offers, so the more creative, the better. Please leave any ideas in the comments. Thanks!

July 31st, 2009 | marijean | Tags: , , | 5 Comments »

STL Moms: Win $100 for Back-to-School from Wal-Mart

I realize that 50 percent of my reading audience is in the greater St. Louis Metropolitan area so, I bring you the following opportunity: the Maplewood Wal-Mart is hosting an essay contest.  The contest is sponsored by my dear friends at KidSmart, an amazing St. Louis nonprofit that provides school supplies to students in underpriviliged school districts. All you have to do is get your kids to write a 100-word essay on why school is cool and you could win $100 – which, we know, goes a long way toward school supplies at Wal-Mart. The details, and the entry form are here for the clicking.

If your kids are putting up a fuss about writing on summer break (I can almost hear their anguished whines from Virginia), just tell them you’ll let them choose the cool new backpack. It’s a bargaining chip, I promise.

July 21st, 2009 | marijean | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

CBS-19 Blog of the Week: Sara’s Era

saraThis week I featured the blog of Sara Gould, Sara’s Era – the Era of Sara as the WCAV CBS-19 Blog of the Week.

I know Sara; she’s a friend who I met through blogging. You may know her as one of the judges of the C’ville Pie Down. You may know her as @sajego on Twitter. What you may not have known about Sara, is that she lost her hearing at the age of 14. On her blog, Sara’s been sharing the stories of what it is like to regain her hearing, as the result of a cochlear implant she received several months ago.

My interview with Sara appears below, and the video from tonight’s broadcast is here.

How has blogging about the decision to get your cochlear implant been beneficial?

I didn’t start blogging about getting a cochlear implant until I had already made my decision.  I’d known I was a candidate for almost two years before deciding.  I actually got most of my information about  from bloggers, so when I started my own journey blogging about it made sense.  It gives me a record for myself but also lets me share and help others going through the process themselves.  Each person’s experience is so different.

Have you met others with hearing loss, found support from the deaf community, or not?

Cochlear implants have been controversial in the culturally-Deaf community since their FDA approval back in the 1980s.  Since I lost my hearing when I was 14 and even now still haven’t learned sign language very well I don’t really think of myself as part of the Deaf Culture, though I do have some friends who are culturally Deaf.  One of my good friends who is Deaf actually got her cochlear implant before I did.  I haven’t met many people in person or locally, but the online community of cochlear implant patients has been very supportive.

I admire you for sharing your stories of regaining your hearing — how has your audience reacted? Do you have friends and family who just want to find out what it’s like, and what you’re going through?

Initially I had to keep myself in check whenever anyone told me how AMAZING the cochlear implant was.  That wasn’t how I felt about it at all, things sounded very strange and I don’t think I did very well capturing in words everything I was hearing that first few weeks.  People sounded like robots, everything sounded like it was right out of a sci-fi movie.  I hadn’t been completely deaf before, so all this gibberish sound didn’t seem Amazing to me at all… but thanks to all the other blogs I had read I expected this chaos and I knew it would take time to adjust going into it.

My mom and grandmother read everything I write.  My dad doesn’t use the computer, so he can’t wait until I can call him on the phone.

What do you hope to achieve by blogging, not just about your journey to improved hearing, but in general?

Believe it or not, I’ve been blogging for almost 10 years now.  I started with a travel log for a summer road trip on livejournal.com back before it was even called blogging.  I find that for me it’s easier to write for an audience I you have a specific topic, but my favorite style of blogged still tends to be personal. My cochlear implant experience has filled that requirement pretty well.

There are 180,000 people with cochlear implants in the world now.  Of those in the US, more than half are children.  Everyone’s experience is different and I know I enjoy reading other blogs so hopefully some of them are finding mine a good read too.

Finally, as a musician, I’m fascinated by your gradual and new experiences — what’s been your favorite part, or new sound? The worst?

I think my hardest moment was the last concert my band played the week before my surgery.  We sounded good.  I had heard things with two hearing aids for half my life at that point and I was almost mourning giving that experience up.   It’s well-documented that most people with a cochlear implant hear speech very well when given enough time and practice.  Music on the other hand is still being figured out.  I’ve read a lot more articles about how music Doesn’t sound good with a cochlear implant than the opposite.  So I’ve been glad that my personal experience contradicts that.  Music doesn’t sound like it did before, but it still sounds like musical.  And it’s still improving too.

July 21st, 2009 | marijean | Tags: , , , , , | No Comments »

We’re Having a Baby! (Over, to Visit)

I’m pretty excited. Our friends have accepted our offer to care for their baby tonight so they can have a much-needed date night. It’s been about 12 years since we’ve diapered and burped, so I am honored by their trust in our ability to dust off our rusty baby-caring skills. I plan to completely spoil their little girl by holding her all night. Although, I’ll probably have to wrestle her away from Mark, who loves little baby girls (and they love him too, for some reason — he’s like magic, putting them to sleep, rocking them into a trance — maybe it’s the altitude, or they just like hearing his voice).

Later tonight, when I’m covered in drool or baby poo, stressed because I can’t figure out how to get a baby to stop crying, ya’ll can laugh at me, but for NOW, I can’t wait.

July 18th, 2009 | marijean | 4 Comments »

Need a New Job? Look No Further than the Top 100

At some point in my career, I finally gave myself the permission I deserved all along; to work for a great place to work and not limit myself to anything less. I found one, and I’m very happy and feel very fortunate that I’m not likely to be one of the millions of Americans looking for a job this year. If you’re one of them, however, I have some advice.

I’ve been sharing the same words of wisdom to all my young married guy friends for years; they’re concerned because their wives, new moms, moms-to-be or young moms, aren’t happy with their jobs; aren’t earning what they deserve or feel as if they’re not treated as well or as promoteable as their singleton or older-mom peers. In one case, a friend’s wife is nearing the end of her stint as a contract employee, following a major downsizing at her company.

I have Three Steps for the wives/moms/moms-to-be to follow:

1. Tell yourself, loudly and clearly, that you deserve a great job that makes you happy, satisfied and appropriately compensated. Say it every day until you really believe it.

2. Conduct your job search using ONE list: Working Mother’s 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers. These companies have the best benefits, many locations and a culture of support for people like you. Your compensation after your jump should be no less than 10 percent more than you made previously. If you don’t yet have children, but plan to in the future, there’s no better environment in which to find a good maternity leave, and a schedule that works for a future working mom.

3. Do whatever you have to do to hold out for the job you deserve. If it means taking an interim job in the meantime, tomake ends meet, do it, but don’t stop your search. The right job is out there waiting for you.

July 15th, 2009 | marijean | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments »
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