Comments on: Choosing Your Battles: How do you feel about hair?

By: Michelle Golden

Michelle Golden — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 17:23:47 +0000

Hi, I’m weighing in late on this… so, I totally agree with your role-model mom. That’s been my philosophy, too. In fact, I go a step further: clothes too (as long as not too much boxer shorts show or for girls–gulp, mine is only 7–not too much skin).

Personal expression is SO critical in teen years. Whether it’s “fitting in” or “standing out” the need for freedom to express yourself in your appearance is a very teen/young adult thing. I think it’s because they haven’t yet the awareness of exactly WHO they are, so they can test by experimenting with appearance… How do I feel when I look like this? Is it comfortable for me? What reaction does it draw? What prejudices and biases? Is this the result I’m after?

It’s easy enough to morph and pretty non-committal, right? Like rearranging your furniture, you can put it back or try something different if it doesn’t work for you.

Personally, I always felt like I could still “dress ‘em nice” for grandma and explain away the hair. I’m even more lenient on some piercings (they can be removed but those stretch out the ear ones, no way). Tattoos are waaay too permanent for that experimentation phase of expression.

By: Jeannette

Jeannette — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 02:32:51 +0000

My brother is five years younger than me. I have a very vivid memory of him, probably age 11-13, locking himself in my dad’s truck due to the threat of a haircut.

By: Randee

Randee — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 21:59:18 +0000

Well, I hate it when my husband’s beautiful curly locks are cut short, and I recently spent hours bleaching and then recoloring chunks of my 14 yr old daughter’s hair turquoise and purple…but said no to the belly ring. Couldn’t care less about the hair…I am saving it for more important battles…

By: Cindy

Cindy — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 20:45:38 +0000

Will was just asking to get another buzz and was fretting…Guess we’ll do that right away!

By: Kathy G

Kathy G — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:22:16 +0000

Sounds like I agree with both you and Caroline. As long as the hair is clean cut, length, or color doesn’t matter to me.

Sons #1 and #2 have always maintained a clean-cut appearance, but a few years ago Son #3 decided to grow his hair long and donate it to Locks of Love. His hair is a beautiful red color (and at one point he had a lumberjack beard to match)!

Every few months during the process he’d mention his wish to dye his hair blue…just to see what I would say. My response was always, “doesn’t bother me, but Locks of Love doesn’t accept dyed hair”. He never did it.

By: Caroline

Caroline — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 14:40:09 +0000

I think long hair looks quite good on teenage boys..my husband had long hair and I don’t think it means they aren’t upstanding…..I say let that one roll off the parents’ shoulders…no tattoos or piercings.