Several of you have asked how it’s been having the boy at home again, after his first year away from college. You may remember late last summer when I composed a series of posts, Letters to My Son in the days leading up to his departure. Remember this? Or perhaps you recall The Freshman Ten (Michelle, I still laugh when I read #4 and remember your reaction.)

Truth be told, I had a tough time after he was gone. It may have been peri-menopausal hormones, but I’ll admit I may have cried myself to sleep a few times in the weeks after he left.  Then, of course, I adjusted. There was, after all, less housework. There was less worry and better sleep, uninterrupted by a boy coming in to say goodnight hours after I’d fallen asleep. So the school year passed and in the spring, the boy announced that he would not be going back.

He came home at the beginning of the summer and worked two jobs throughout. At the end, he began his second college, a commuter school which allows him to continue living at home. He kept one of the jobs. Being back in Charlottesville means he can spend more time with the allergist’s daughter, which makes both of them happier. Overall, he seems to be having a much better year, despite his busy schedule. (Although I don’t hesitate to point out that I worked, went to school full time and raised him from the ages of 2 to 5, did housework, cooked and somehow pulled off a 3.89 GPA).

To answer your question, it’s fine. Yes, there’s more laundry, more groceries to buy; food disappears overnight and we sometimes go for days without seeing him. But he’s here, and when I do bump into him, he makes me laugh.

Our schedules are completely in conflict – a couple of times I’ve gotten up early only to find him just going to bed. Once I woke up at 5:30am, wide awake. I stumbled downstairs and was shocked to see him on the couch, watching TV. “Are you still up? Or are you up early?” He said, “I’m still up. What are YOU doing up?” I looked at the clock — it was 1:30am. Somehow I’d either time traveled on the way down the stairs or I’d looked at the clock without my glasses upstairs and misread the time in my sleep-deprived stupor.

So we’re ships that pass in the night — mostly in the kitchen, where he still asks what’s for dinner, or lunch and what is there to eat?

I’m glad to have him back.

Last night I went to a grownups Halloween party with my daughter. The girl was one of three friends the daughter of the grownups having the party was allowed to invite. I was one of 80 grownups the parents invited. The husband left me hanging; such is his disdain for Halloween and for dressing up, but I decided to go anyway.

In a last minute sprint I scoured the town for leftover bits to create a Halloween costume. I scared myself with a flapper costume two sizes too small and my first pair of crazy false eyelashes. At some point I thought, OH! I’m Cabaret-era Liza, and went with it, sporting black fishnets, fringe and some bright red lipstick. (BTW, how weird is it that three times as many people wanted to see me with my hair in foils as wanted to see the fishnet and fringe photo? You guys are a strange bunch.)

There were awkward moments at the party, as any adult Halloween party, I imagine (this was my first). I didn’t know anyone but the hosts and of course no one looked as they normally do. (Is that her real hair? Is that guy really that creepy or is he just being “in character”) I had fun, though, and even broke into a Charleston with fringe a-flyin’.

And then I won the best “adult” costume award. I think this mortified my daughter who said my costume was pushing the limits of mom-appropriateness. (Yes, it was tight. Yes, it was short — I didn’t sit down all evening). But I won! A PRIZE! For dressing up like Liza and pretending that 77 strangers were friends!

On another note:

You must read this post by my blogger friend Jaelithe. It is about pie and love and family and it’s touched me so much I’ve read it three times and want to save it in a Big Book of Best Blog Posts Ever.

Also:

This book, which I pre-ordered before PW even started writing it, arrived in the mail.

PWCooks

I have mentioned it before, but I love, love, love Ree Drummond, her blog, her recipes, her photos – and now I have this gorgeous cookbook. You should buy one, too. And another for someone you love who loves to cook. I’m not being paid for this. I think I just thought of three women I love who would like this book for the holidays. Bet you did, too.

OK. Let’s review. Awkward Halloween story. Awesome pie post. Pioneer Woman cookbook.

One more thing: thank you all for your guidance in the Family Photo War. I am trying to let go of my inner control freak, but I’m also eager to hear what Grandma has to say. I’ll let you all know how the whole mess turns out.

I’m in the middle of a huge throw-down argument with my thirteen-year-old daughter. I’m at my wit’s end so I’m taking it to the people! Here’s the deal:

It’s been about eight years since our last family photo, so we’re planning over the holidays to gather together for a portrait session with my husband’s parents. The last time we had this done we all wore the same color shirt, something recommended to us by the photographer. We all thought the result was good, and so we’ve planned to do it again.

Over an hour or so, my MIL and I pored over the Lands’ End catalog (it must be Lands’ End — they make talls and offer the same colors in both men’s and women’s shirts) and settled on pine (a dark green) as our color. The pine shirts come in several styles, so each person can have the style shirt they want.

WELL IT”S NOT THAT SIMPLE.

The girl threw a holy fit over the color. She’s digging in. She prefers the “rich red” and has also suggested we either wear all white or all black. I’m philosophically fine with any of these four colors, but really, getting six people to agree on a single color for a family photo is stressing me out.

I’ve threatened several times to call Grandma and let her be the final decision maker on this issue. The girl has offered to not appear in the photos at all.

What would you do?

A. Order the pine shirts and just let the chips fall where they may.

B. Go ahead and do the photos in the pine shirts without the girl. She’ll regret it when she’s 30.

C. Call Grandma and negotiate another girl-approved color (despite the fact that other family members won’t be OK with those colors).

D. Say “screw it” and let everyone wear whatever the heck they want.

E. Let the girl wear the color of her choice while everyone else wears pine.

I’m counting on you guys. I’m ready to tear my hair out. And that wouldn’t make for a very good family photo. While you’re pondering my conundrum, take a look at these for a laugh: http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

I know what I said. I remember and believe me, my husband doesn’t let me forget. I said I was done coloring my hair. I came to a hair color crossroads about a year and a half ago and truly didn’t do anything to hide my gray for about two years. Last night, I caved.

I threw a bunch of hair stylist jargon around at the salon, highlights! NO, lowlights! Dimension! Natural! Shiny! Essentially I said . . . and my stylist finished for me, “You want to hide the gray.”

So we began a process that has my head still reeking of chemicals and me feeling guilty for being vain. But would a vain person have snapped this photo and tweeted it, sharing my head full of foils with the world? No, I think not.

To our dismay (mine, and my stylist’s) my hair came out a bit, well, highlightier than we’d intended. I didn’t freak out. She said she could fix it, and I trust her, so I sat back and snapped another shot as we embarked on The Hairdo, Take 2. By the way, that’s not a giant cataract, just the flash bouncing off my left eye. Also? Yes, this is what I look like without any makeup. Hot, huh?

Not to leave you hanging, I’m sharing the final result – very subtle gray-masking highlights – just what I wanted. And look Jason! Wrinkles! (Sigh.)

Purple turtle

My dear friend is off to the Windy City for a whole school year. She earned a Senior Fellowship (capped, because it is a BIG DEAL) and will be enduring a Chicago winter away from Charlottesville.

I couldn’t send her off unprepared, so I spent weeks crafting a ridiculously long, thick red scarf to keep her warm while she’s away.

All you seasoned knitters may scoff at this beginners’ project, but hey, I just taught myself to knit a little less than a year ago and so I’m rather proud when I manage to finish anything.

Family and friends be warned – you’re likely to get a rectangle-shaped, yarn-made item for the holidays.

See? I do more than bake pies.

For a real blog with real knitting projects for those who truly know their knit from their purl (um, and that other stuff I haven’t mastered yet) check out the Needle Lady Blog. Tell them I sent you.