The boy came home from work one day, and was getting ready to head out again to an evening class at his college. “Working and going to school is exhausting,” he said. “How did you do it?”
How did I do it?
I put my head down and blasted through for three years, working, going to school or doing homework with no breaks, no real vacations and no free time.
Once a year, I went with my closest friends for a weekend on the river where I blew off steam, acted like a wild Samoan and was able to recapture a bit of what I’d skipped by growing up too fast. I cherished those weekends.
Every day I looked at my doe-eyed son (from the time he was a toddler to a preschool kid) and knew that working and going to school was for him, as much as it was for me, and that by sticking with it and getting through it, I could help make a better future for him.
My dad had worked full time and gone to law school when my sisters were little — I figured if he had done it, so could I. Apparently we’ve both passed down a difficult legacy.
I absolutely lived for the day I’d graduate (and my son would attend, in his tiny clip-on tie) and with each semester, the light at the end of the tunnel got a little brighter.
It was exhausting. He’s right. But I got through it. And so will he.
If your kids are putting up a fuss about writing on summer break (I can almost hear their anguished whines from Virginia), just tell them you’ll let them choose the cool new backpack. It’s a bargaining chip, I promise.
At some point in my career, I finally gave myself the permission I deserved all along; to work for a great place to work and not limit myself to anything less. I found one, and I’m very happy and feel very fortunate that I’m not likely to be one of the millions of Americans looking for a job this year. If you’re one of them, however, I have some advice.
I’ve been sharing the same words of wisdom to all my young married guy friends for years; they’re concerned because their wives, new moms, moms-to-be or young moms, aren’t happy with their jobs; aren’t earning what they deserve or feel as if they’re not treated as well or as promoteable as their singleton or older-mom peers. In one case, a friend’s wife is nearing the end of her stint as a contract employee, following a major downsizing at her company.
I have Three Steps for the wives/moms/moms-to-be to follow:
1. Tell yourself, loudly and clearly, that you deserve a great job that makes you happy, satisfied and appropriately compensated. Say it every day until you really believe it.
2. Conduct your job search using ONE list: Working Mother’s 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers. These companies have the best benefits, many locations and a culture of support for people like you. Your compensation after your jump should be no less than 10 percent more than you made previously. If you don’t yet have children, but plan to in the future, there’s no better environment in which to find a good maternity leave, and a schedule that works for a future working mom.
3. Do whatever you have to do to hold out for the job you deserve. If it means taking an interim job in the meantime, tomake ends meet, do it, but don’t stop your search. The right job is out there waiting for you.
I was actually inspired by First Wednesdays (First Wednesdays is a social gathering of internet Entrepreneurs, Coders, Designers, Bloggers and Marketers. They meet the first Wednesday of each month at a bar / restaurant Downtown). I saw that people kept referring to First Wednesdays on Twitter. I thought, hmm.. there should be something like that for mothers that could use the networking and need to get out and meet other moms that do what they do! So, the project began with networking in mind. I was actually thinking about what form of advertising works best for my business (Angie Brement Photography) and where my money would be best spent going forward. Then the answer came to me: By far the #1 venue is word of mouth/networking. My clients recommend my services to their friends. I figured that other mom-owned businesses are the same… they rely on word of mouth. I decided to become the word of mouth for not only myself, but other mom-businesses out there!
2. How many entremoms are there in C’ville?
So far I’ve found about 25. The list grows every week. I would estimate that there are about 75+ businesses out there… some, I just haven’t found yet!
3. What do you hope to achieve with the blog?
My number one goal is for local businesses to not only stay afloat, but grow in this downtrending economy. By networking with each other, there is so much we can achieve. We can get marketing ideas from each other, offer blog links or advertise on each other’s sites, recommend services to friends/other moms, exchange services, swap childcare with other working moms, team up for events… the opportunities are endless. My 2nd goal is to get the word out to Charlottesville that these mom-owned businesses are out there and to build a “buy local” mentality. Let’s all support each other. Third, I’d love to inspire other mothers to follow their dreams and not be scared to start a business. All of us have done this and are a powerful resource for anyone starting a new business.
4. What need are you filling in the community or in the blogosphere?
Buy local. Let the community know these businesses are out there and can be serviced locally. Providing a resource for start ups. Getting mom-owned businesses together to network and grow. Team up to expand business.
5. What do you want viewers to know about the site?
It is not just for Entrepreneur Moms.. it is for everyone. So, spread the word and buy locally from motivated and powerful mom’s with great ideas and successful businesses. If you are thinking of starting your own business, DO IT! We can help!
At this point, everyone knows at least one working mom on her way out of the workforce, due to a layoff, downsizing or schedule conflicts. I encourage any mom facing this scenario to look at it as an opportunity to flip her work life around. It is a chance to evaluate exactly how much you need to earn and to determine whether full time is right for your family life. If your kids are young, it may not be. Small businesses and freelancers are weathering the economy easily, in many cases finding that with budget cutbacks, companies are outsourcing work to them in lieu of hiring employees or working with larger, more expensive partners.
Does the work you do or like (not always the same thing) have entrepreneurial possibilities?
Could you work from home?
Is this the time to flip out of your current career and go back to school, or try another job entirely?
Are there opportunities to share a job with a partner, to reduce hours but stay engaged in your industry?
Take time to really think about your next career move; it may be an employers’ market but that doesn’t mean it’s not time for you to be your own boss.
