Realizing that my job and travel had much to do with not taking care of myself, I jettisoned it and began Jaggers Communications at the beginning of 2011.

That decision, and every decision after it has been a continuation of that watershed year. Early this year I joined Weight Watchers for the first time in my life. I’ve joined a gym and have been working out like it’s a new religion.

There’s not this “end game” where there’s one specific goal or another I’ve got to reach. It’s a series of small steps and ideas that reveal themselves along the way. When I gave myself the gift of a year, it was intended to be a single year, but what I really did was give myself a life, and for that I will always be grateful.

I’m delighted when I hear from those of you who were inspired by the original post and the original year as it evolved. I’m giddy over the women I know who chose to take a year of their own. I hope that this post reaches someone else who will have an epiphany and decide, right here and now, to take it on (please tell me if that’s you!).

I am continuing to celebrate for the remainder of the year. Here are a few reasons why I am celebrating my year of 40:

1. I am in love with the guy I married when I was 18.
2. I am healthier now than I was a year ago. Sure, I have some weight to lose but that’s OK — that gives me something to do in 2011.
3. I finally had the courage to make a big change (more on that in the coming weeks).
4. My son got engaged to the love of his life on my 40th birthday (and we love her, t00).
5. My daughter is a delightful teenager (one in a million!) and a fantastic student.
6. I have really wonderful friends, (some of them I’ve never even met in person).

And last but not least, I have YOU – my blog readers who have been here for years and years — always coming back for the latest installment of my ramblings. Thank you all for celebrating this year of 40 with me.

1. If you give yourself the gift of a year, you will inspire others to do the same. Think of it! A gift that keeps on giving! I’m so thrilled to know that the idea given to me by a friend has passed along to several other friends who have adopted it for themselves. How thrilling to have shared the concept with many other women who are taking back a piece of their lives. A client-turned-friend of mine told me recently that she’s decided to give herself the gift of a year and my heart just swelled with joy.

2. Saving your own life is harder than it looks! While my intentions have always been good, keeping the commitment every day has not always been easy. It’s a constant renewal to keep at it, and to honor the gift I’ve given myself. For those of you who like a challenge, this will be the best part for you.

3. Some people just don’t get it — pay no attention and stay on track. A few people have kind of looked at me like I’d lost it when I explained the Gift. Pffft to them, I say.

4. Once you start, you won’t want to stop. I keep thinking about what I’d like to focus on NEXT year, and how I can continue to feel as awesome as I do right now. I’d also like to figure out how we can improve health care in this country to the point where manicures, pedicures and massages are covered by health insurance. Who’s with me?

To the left: Marijean Jaggers, September 1975. I’m four.

One Journey, Many Steps

I knew that taking care of myself would be really difficult. I knew that, while it would be lovely to think about it being all trips to the spa, nights of eight hours of sleep and delicious, healthy meals I knew that was not the whole picture. It’s been really tough, truthfully. The first six months have definitely been mostly about changing behaviors and becoming conscious of many things I’d chosen to ignore. I suffer from a bit of seasonal affective disorder and February and March were (as they typically are) pretty rough. I wrote about my struggle in the post, Everything, all at once. I was kind of an emotional mess before spring really arrived, having hurt myself pretty badly and then a few illnesses that left me feeling drained. It was like I had to reach the bottom before I could start the climb, but climb I have!

I’ve learned so much so far — I’ve learned that all of this is a process, that much of what I want to accomplish for my health is a chipping away rather than a revolution. I cut myself slack where I need it, and kick my own butt when necessary. I’ve been running to get in shape and just last weekend registered for the first race I’ve ever attempted.

I am getting there; starting to feel stronger, starting to have more energy and peace. When I get frustrated I tell myself to “run it out,” and I hit the trail, pounding my way back to calm.

Care for the Body and the Mind will Follow

As my physical care has increased, I’ve noticed something unexpected. I’m writing more. I’m thinking more clearly. I’m allowing myself time to think (and much of my thinking happens in that solitude of running, walking or rest I give myself) and because of that, my writing is getting better. I have more capacity for what I love to do, which also contributes to my happiness.

I am still absolutely committed to this gift of a year and am grateful for my friend Suzanne introducing the concept to me. I know there were many of you who thought about giving yourself a year with me . . . have you done it? How is it going? If you haven’t done it, think about it; it’s the best gift I’ve ever had.

Mary, this one's for you (my sides still hurt from laughing).

Last night, I had a collection of women over for dinner. I’m not obsessed with symmetry, but I do like it, preferring equal numbers on opposite sides, balance, patterns, etc. So I was pretty pleased when we ended up with eight: a Susan and a Suzanne, a Mollie and a Dolly, two Jennifers, a Mary and of course me, Marijean.

I was also tickled to have brought together some women who only knew each other online (or, in a couple cases, not at all) to gather ’round a table, talk eat and drink for several hours. Better yet, this morning on Facebook I saw a flurry of my guests friending one another. Success!

It was great fun and a lot of work (next time, I go potluck) but I really enjoyed cooking for and serving some really wonderful friends. I wanted to do something nice for each of them — they have each (whether they knew it or not) done something for me and frequently make my day just by being themselves. It was absolutely the best to see them all relaxing and having a good time together.

I don’t know if it’s me, and just the people in my “inner circle” here in Charlottesville but another commonality in this group is that all but one of us have a blog or, in some cases, multiple blogs. We’re definitely ALL writers and last night proved we’re all TALKERS.

It was the best thing I’ve done for myself so far in this Year of 40 — the gathering of girlfriends should be an item on the list of any woman trying to take better care of herself.

First, I want you to know that I’m doing pretty well — not fantastic, but pretty well.

There’s one main reason I’m not doing fantastic and it’s a concept you would think I would have learned by now, being almost 40 years old, and all. It’s this:

If you try to do everything, all at once, you will fail.

I tend to get ambitious and did at first. Quit all bad things! Eat well! Exercise everyday! Lose weight! Tone up! Clean house! Cook daily! Write often! Spend time with family! Spend time on work!

Exhausted just reading it, aren’t you?

I had to calm down and focus on just a few things. I can be happy with this year’s efforts if I emerge having accomplished just a few things — I can add other things next year.

I do not have to do everything, all at once.

Enlightened, aren’t I?

My friend Mary called me on it, without even realizing she did so. When I had to tearfully call her to break our date for the Oscar Night Party because I’d injured my back, she said, “What’d you do, exercise too hard to look good for tonight?” And she was right. Guess what? You can’t do three months’ worth of exercise to look awesome for a party the next night. It just doesn’t work.

I’m an impatient person trying to slow down, look around and take care. If you’ve managed to do this, I’d love to know how.

Not exactly weight watching food, I know.

But I decided that sometimes taking really good care of yourself means indulging in a delectable evening with some of your very best friends, laughing and talking and eating really delicious food. Once in awhile! Not all the time!

It was totally worth it.

HOWEVER, the next morning I slept to an unheard of 9:20am – I honestly do not know how the puppy waited till then to go outside. Unfortunately my healthy living appointment at the eye doctor was at 9am. So much for that. They did let me reschedule the appointment for later in the afternoon so I did keep that promise to myself, and fit in 30 minutes of yoga this morning despite half the day being gone already.

I DO think it’s OK to fall of the wagon every once in awhile and sometimes taking really good care of yourself isn’t all the obvious healthy stuff — it’s taking the time to surround yourself with people you love, and living in the moment.

Some of you may be wondering how I’m doing this — what, specifically am I doing that’s different. For the first few weeks I am having to make some room to allow myself to focus on my year. That means I’m scaling back from some activities that take time away from taking care of myself. If I am using the excuse that I don’t have time to exercise, then I need to get rid of something I’m doing that’s less important than exercising, for example.

I cook most of our meals at home and bake most of the treats we have in the house so they’re not filled with unpronouncable ingredients and too much sugar. One of my challenges is eating right when I travel and this year promises lots of travel. If anyone has tips on how to make better choices while eating out, that would be welcome. My Twitter friend Kellie reminded me today of the healthy benefits of shopping for groceries online to avoid impulse purchases and overbuying — I will return to that practice and enjoy the time I get back from not having to spend it in the store.

I have been doing a daily yoga session. I plan to continue.

I’m still figuring parts of this year out, but I figure I have enough vacation time to make sure I take a whole day or half day off every month that doesn’t have one long weekend in it. With that time I can make and keep appointments — I started today by making an appointment for an eye exam that I probably should have had about three months ago. Sorry eyedoctormike — I have been letting that one slide, too.

Not all my appointments will be the painful or not-so-fun variety. I also plan to have a pampering session once a month, as much for mental health as physical. Massages, mani-pedis, facials . . . what else can I do?

And every day I will remind myself that I’m saving my life, that I’m taking care of myself today, as I really think about exercise, eating right, taking those vitamins and resting when I need to rest.

Today’s only the fourth day of this year and I’ll admit, I’m feeling a little anxious . . . the seeds of self doubt have tiny little sprouts . . . but I’m very encouraged by how many of you said you’d like to take a year, too and those of you who are DOING it. If you can do it, I can do it. Right?

I began reading the book on Dec. 31 and finished it Jan. 3, 2010 and decided, somewhere in the middle that yes, I would give myself the gift of a year — this year, starting right now.  This is the year I will turn 40 so for me, it has some significance chronologically but really, it doesn’t matter; there’s no time like the present.

What does the gift of a year mean? It means taking 12 months of your life to put yourself first instead of last. It means doing or not doing; accomplishing or resting; it means for each person something different from every other. After learning about how women (in particular) put themselves last over and over, how we let go of our dreams and desires because other responsibilities, commitments and lack of time gets in the way, I learned that I’m part of that camp, and don’t really want to be. I’d rather set the example for my daughter, my friends and the colleagues I mentor and supervise of someone who is happy and healthy because I recognize the importance of putting myself first so that I can better care for others.

The book, which I highly recommend you read, too, takes the reader through the whole process of defining the year, choosing what you will do with it, planning for success, getting the support you need and getting started. Reading the stories of what other women did with their year helped me figure out what I wanted — no — needed to do with my gift of a year.

Saving My Own Life

I spent part of last year meeting with a friend who is a career coach. I learned a lot about time management, focus, goal-setting and prioritization. Going through this exercise helped me pare down some of the extracurricular activities that were taking too much of my time and my energy. When we talked about work/life balance and health and wellness I had an epiphany: I don’t take care of myself. Working with my friend, we came up with a self-affirming question I was to ask myself each and every morning, “How will I take care of myself today?” My friend, a wonderful supporter, would send me e-mails or leave voicemail messages asking me, “how are you taking care of yourself today?” It was a good start to thinking about myself in a different way; as a person who needs and deserves to be taken care of. I won’t go into all of the ways that I haven’t taken care of myself, those will become evident over time, if you continue reading this blog as I embark on this journey of my gift.

Now, that revelation and the work with my friend didn’t exactly get me moving in the right direction. Because I still wasn’t putting myself first, in fact it depressed me further. I felt helpless and overwhelmed. Then on Labor Day, 2009, I got sick with the flu. I was sick for most of September and spiraled down into a place I’d rather not return.

When the Late Bloomer Bride introduced the gift of a year idea to a group of friends, I felt granted permission. At first I thought of several ways to spend my year — and one great thing about the book is that it really helps you narrow down to exactly the right choice for you. I thought big; about writing a book, or writing every day on the three blogs I maintain. I thought about focusing on exercise. I thought about taking classes or learning something new. I thought about my job, and how I want to grow in my career. Ultimately, before I finished the book I’d landed on the most important gift I can give myself in my Year of 40 and that is . . .

To take really good care of myself every day.

Now, to some that might not seem like a big deal. That’s OK. Maybe you are someone who already takes good care of yourself. Good for you! But I’m not. I don’t make doctors’ appointments when I should, or I don’t keep them. I fail to take my medicine regularly. I forget, intentionally, to take my vitamins because I really, really don’t like taking vitamins. I don’t eat well all the time. I don’t exercise. I don’t take time off from work when I am sick. I could go on, but I won’t because it’s really awful . . . the point is, that’s over. In this gift of a year, I will take care of myself every day.

It will not be easy. There will be times when I’ll just want to give up and slide back into all my bad habits. I will have to employ what I learned from my friend about time management and actually schedule in the time needed to care for myself appropriately. I’ll have to make appointments and keep them. I’ll have to find ways to exercise and eat better.

I will also need the support of my family and friends. I will have to ask for help when I need it. I will have to say no now and again.

I’m hoping, of course, that you all will be here for me as this Year of 40 goes on. That I can report in and let you know how it’s going; what I’ve learned and how I’ve made it through the challenges. If you decide to give yourself the gift of a year (and I would love, love, love it if you joined me on this journey) I’d like to know how it’s going for you, too.

Think about it; what would you do with the gift of one year?