Anyway.

I had a nice weekend. I baked a pie (more on that later), had a pedicure, read a book, watched a movie, did laundry, went to two Girl Scout events, went out to dinner, attended First Communion mass for a young friend of ours, drank some lovely tea (new flavors from Teavana, courtesy of my husband) and goofed around. Pretty much the perfect weekend.

On the downside, my pie was a failure (post to come, I promise) and I managed to spill three-quarters of a cup of Mudhouse coffee all over me and the inside of my car (and the First Communion card for our friend). I was a sight. Coffee on my shirt, skirt, legs, shoes, carseats; everywhere — I could not believe how far it spread. And of course it was hot, so I sat there in my car going, “Ow, ow, ow,” before I composed myself enough to drive home, sopping wet and pouting. (I drank the remainder and it was still good.) I WAS glad that I was on my way home when I decided to take my java bath. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d been on the way somewhere and running late.

For Mothers’ Day I’d like to share some of the mom blogs I enjoy as my little gift to you. I hope you like them, too. Here’s what I read, in no particular order:

Zuzu’s Petals
Fluid Pudding
WOBL in Training
Mommy Track’d
Rocks in my Dryer
Confessions of a Pioneer Woman
Mamalogues
Self-Made Mom
Say La Vee
Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck
Fussy
I am Bossy

Mutha Mae
Because I Said So
My Heart’s In Dixie

The State of Discontent
A Bun’s Life
Same Old STLBee

I hope you all had a wonderful, celebrated day.

It seems like every year a high school student in every community is killed; taken from us. It’s a gamble, this parenting bit. When we have children we take the chance that they’ll be with us for the rest of our lives. It doesn’t always work out that way. When they’re newborns and we bring them home from the hospital we celebrate the first week they’re with us and we manage to keep them alive. Six months pass and we stare at our babies with wonder. Well, we think, we must be doing something right because here he still is. If we’re lucky, we have cake and presents to commemorate a first birthday. We silently pat ourselves on the back. A whole year! And we haven’t managed to do anything stupid enough to take this child from us, nor has the hand of God swept down to take him away.

We grow more relaxed after that, until they give us heart attack after heart attack as spirited toddlers, darting out in parking lots, falling off everything they climb, disappearing around the corner in a store where we’re sure they’ll be snatched away by a Bad Man. But with more luck, and perhaps a guardian angel or two, they enter school and suffer all kinds of germy maladies. They survive, and we do, too.

When they finish middle school, we again pat ourselves on the back for having survived them and they us, and the angst and clique-ridden atmosphere that has the ability to turn anyone into a catatonic mess. We rejoice; our children have made it to, in the fall, enter high school and what may be the most dangerous years of their lives.

Motor vehicle crashes are the number one cause of death in kids aged 15-20. We raise them, we protect them, we teach them to be careful and then, how to be independent. We have to. At some point we have to let go; let them drive away without us and, what do we do? We hope for the best. There comes a point where we realize it’s not all under our control. Accidents happen. We can’t protect them 100 percent of the time, even if we never let them out of our sight. If we’re lucky, they come back time after time. If we’re lucky, they never get in an accident. If we are the parents who will not outlive their children, we will make it through high school and college with kids who are unscathed.

I keep thinking of the parents of the student who died this morning. Who can even imagine that kind of pain? It happens too often.

Some favorites:

Maya suggested “Life of Pie” – which has a literary reference I like.
Raquita offered up a sassy suggestion to use something with pie hole (because she would).
Angela said, Piety Schmiety! I’m just thinking it’s gotta have the word Pie in it to be searchable — but maybe not.
Lisa, who is one savvy mother, really likes pie and liked my idea of “The Pie Chart.” One of her contributions was “Eat my Pie!” which is totally a Dwight-worthy suggestion.
Speaking of Dwight, and I knew I could count in him for the pervy angle, Mr. Wannabe suggested, “Lick the Beater,” which I think is actually more appropriate for a cake blog, and other favorites including, “The Rolling Pen” and “The Pied Papers” and one I’m particularly fond of: “Crimp My Pie” (which might be better as Crimp My Crust, but again, think ”pie” might need to get in there.  
Our Lady of Perfection pointed out my shortcomings right off the bat. I’m such a rebel, I completely skipped the strict recommendation to start with a fruit pie and went straight off to Fancy Sweet Potato Pie — just because I wanted to make one. Nevertheless, her name ideas came from the movie Waitress; such as “Gonna Bake a Pie.”

My father-in-law can’t believe you guys didn’t suggest “Pie in the Sky.” I have to admit, I’m not wild about this one. I AM, of course, wild about my FIL.

One Cindy said “Pied Piper” but Aunt Cindy said, “A Slice of Life.”

Beth said, “Apple of my Pie” which is pretty darn cute, and finally, Randee suggested “American Pie” but that made me think of the movie and . . . well, you know what that made me think of so, no. Although, I like where she’s going with it and have seriously considered Miss American Pie or Mrs. American Pie . . . so maybe.

THE WINNER

Boy, this was as hard as finding lard. You guys are so creative! As much as I liked all your suggestions, my pick (for now; I’m fickle) is “Life of Pie.” So CONGRATULATIONS Maya! A $10 Starbucks card is on its way to you in the mail! And check it out — I’ve already added the category in the sidebar. One problem — lifeofpie.com is already taken so if/when I get ready to launch I may have to rethink. By then I may have given up on this whole pie business anyway.

Thanks again for playing — you guys rock! Next time, I’ll let you pick my next pie!

I made the crust with butter and shortening (no lard at Food Lion; the search continues) and it was flaky enough. I made chantilly cream to go on top and the whole mess tasted like heaven to me. The girl was happy; she likes pumpkin pie and this is very similar. The husband gave it a “meh” and the boy refused to even try it.

You guys have been great though, helping me on my quest for the lard and providing pie advice. Also; Patience, what the heck is a hog maw? No, never mind, I don’t really want to know. So I’m thinking about pie-blogging. Maybe on a different blog, maybe here, nevertheless it needs a name. Some thought starters:

• The Pie Chart
• Pie Nation
• Pie’d: A Journey in Crust

I have a feeling you’re much better at this. How about a contest? The Best Pie Blog Name suggestion will win a $10 Starbucks gift card. Contest ends at 10 a.m. Eastern, Wednesday, May 7. Leave your ideas in the comments and I’ll post the winner.

I didn’t know that Blue Screen of Death was an official IT term. Now I know.

Geek Squad ran a $59 diagnostic. I dropped off the laptop about 5 p.m. on Friday and they called with the diagnosis by 10 a.m. the next morning. Now THAT’S good service! Unfortunately, the news was bad, as in, bad hard drive. Kaput. Kaplooie.

I’ve joined the hundreds of thousands of fellow bloggers and laptop-dependent folks who have had computer failure and gone through withdrawals as my laptop is on its merry way to the IT hospital. I’m lucky, I have a backup laptop on which to work this week but it’s not the same.

I know many of you will say, “Get a Mac!” but that’s unfortunately not an option. What’s the best laptop (lightweight yet durable) out there?

I’ve been eating a lot of plants. I’ve made more from scratch. I’ve invested more of my grocery dollars in the produce area and stuck to the perimeter of the grocery store, buying fresh foods and steering clear of anything, as Pollan says, “my grandmother would not recognize as food.” I am young enough, I think, that I consider my great-grandmother instead. Granny would love all the prepackaged stuff. My great-great grandmother, (Wait. I think that’s right. Maybe it was just my great-grandmother.) I was told, was a baker. Her name was Nelly. She had her own bakery in, what would have been the late 1800s. I think of her. Would she consider this food? What would she make of THIS stuff? Wouldn’t she be happy about my desire to create pies? Wouldn’t she be aghast at a woman of my age not having mastered this yet?

I’m walking more, but not very much. I binge walk (better than binge eating, I suppose) when I have time, going on a long walk on the weekends but not fitting it in during the week. I’m eating less, and trying not to skip meals, although lunch remains a challenge. Most of all, I’ve stopped using sugar. Before Lent this year, I would put heaping teaspoons of sugar in my coffee or tea and drink several cups every day. That adds up. I think this alone has made a big impact. I’ve also banned soda with sugar from the house. I will buy diet soda and we do drink it (we like the diet Dr. Pepper and A & W root beer) but I drink less of it, and more water. And tea with no sugar. I still drink coffee, and if I have to, I put Splenda in it.

So I’m not doing anything really dramatic. It’s a change, but it’s not painful. No one feels deprived, least of all me. I still bake, but always from scratch, and not as often. I have had cheeseburgers, frozen yogurt and one evil piece of store-bought cake at a friend’s baby shower. Other than that, I’ve been very disciplined; lots of vegetables, lots of fruit, skim milk, whole grains and lean meat.

I look ridiculous, though. My pants are all huge and hang off of me. I’m glad that it’s getting warmer because I have skirts and skorts a size smaller that I can wear. I celebrated by buying a couple of new dresses and when I wear them, I practically skip, I feel so good. You wouldn’t think 11 lbs. would make much of a difference but it does. I’m hoping to keep it off, and keep going.

Pass the plants, please.

“Oh we don’t sell lard. Had to take it off the shelf. It’s bad for you, you know,” he said.

Inwardly, I snickered. Here we stood in a store that sells cigarettes, bacon, beer and wine, hundreds of products made with synthetic food materials and I’m being told a little lard has been taken off the shelves.

“What are you going to do with lard? Cook some beans?” he asked.

“I want it for pie crust,” I whispered, conspiratorily. “Please don’t tell anyone I’m buying lard.”

It occurred to me that it might be easier to buy illegal drugs than it is to buy lard in this community.

“HEY, JOE! WHERE CAN THIS LADY BUY SOME LARD?”

Oh jeez, now the whole store knows I’m the lard-buying lady. “You weren’t supposed to tell anybody!” I hissed, looking around anxiously for neighbors, kids’ teachers or my DOCTOR. The two employees pondered my dilemma as I tried to blend, chameleon-like into the display of “trans-fat free” margarine. “You probably want to drive out to a country store. No place in town is going to sell lard.”

BECAUSE IT WILL KILL YOU, I thought. “So drive out to some county where nobody knows me and go to a nearly deserted country store and there I will find the lard?”

“Yep. Good luck.”

I continue on my search for The Lard.

Amen.

I know that lots of people eat out more often than we do. Heck, my own parents eat out almost every night. (Or possibly, every night.) I heard of a working mom who went out to eat with her family every night of the week. They went to all chain restaurants, and had a schedule. Something like this: Mondays, Applebees; Tuesdays, Red Robin; Wednesdays, Bob Evans; Thursdays, Chilis; Fridays, Pizza Hut; Saturdays, McDonald’s; Sundays, Old Country Buffet. The idea of this makes me sick. Think of the cost! And wouldn’t you just get so bored? I even hate it when we’re on vacation and road trips require a string of meals eaten out.

So yes, I cook. Almost every night. Sometimes I rely on frozen foods to round out a meal. Sometimes, convenience foods make it all go a little faster; items like pizza crusts, jarred sauces, pre-shredded cheeses, frozen meatballs and frozen vegetables are part of my weekly shopping list. I’m also pretty fond of the frozen biscuits and dinner rolls that allow you to pop just what you need for dinner into the oven and have them ready in less than 20 minutes.

Tonight, having been asked for the millionth time in my life that tired question, I Googled, “What’s for dinner?” and look what I found — a blog with daily recipes. What a great idea. Where do you go for dinner-time inspiration?

1. When it was on, I watched and adored the show Pushing Daisies. (Returning this fall, btw–joy!) The main character, referred to as “the pie man” makes pies at a restaurant called “The Pie Hole” as in “Shut yer . . .”

2. I saw the movie Waitress. Tell me you can watch that movie and not want pie. Go ahead. LIAR!

3. I read the book Julie and Julia; My Year of Cooking Dangerously. Hilarious and possibly life-altering.

4. I was talking with friends, one of whom admitted to an obsession with gardening. I don’t garden, but I knew what she meant when I confessed, “I’m obsessed with baking.” She understood and said it was the same kind of thing; a tactile activity with a tangible result. Since we work in the same field, on weekends and weeknights we crave the tangible. 

5. I bought, after coveting it on the shelf, the book Pie. It was $40 on the shelf, so I left it at the bookstore after reading several pages, then caved to the crave this week, buying it for much less on Amazon (with free shipping!).  

When I told the boy I bought a book about pie, he wanted to know if it was just pages and pages of the number. LIKE I’D EVER WANT A BOOK ABOUT PI.

I sat and read MUCH of it last night and am about to embark on a mission to become a master pie baker. And yes, I will likely blog the journey. There are sure to be some disasters as I blunder my way through 300 pages of pie recipes.

Another small thing happened while I was having my pie epiphany. Andrew Hersey blogged about a lemon pie that was the best food he’d ever put in his mouth. I had to know more, and Andrew was kind enough to tell me; not meringue, more of a cream. I will endeavor on my pie journey to reproduce this pie. Andrew will have to be an honorary tester.

AND YES, if I can find it, I WILL BAKE A CRUST WITH LARD. (Don’t suppose I can buy this at Rebecca’s or Whole Foods, eh?)

Neighbors and friends be warned: there’s a pie in your near future.

This could be a picture of me at her age, nose stuck in a book.

I’m so glad she’s a reader, like both her parents.

Better still, is the book she’s reading, a favorite of ours. It’s such a thrill to share beloved books with our kids, and have them appreciate them, too.

We spent part of the afternoon in a coffeeshop, she with her hot chocolate, me with a mocha, pleasantly reading, quietly passing the time together, doing what we love to do best.