Last weekend, at some point, I decided to learn how to knit. It’s not my first go-round with this because when I first learned I would be an aunt, I signed up for a knitting class. I went, thinking I’d make darling booties and sweaters for my nephew or niece (turned out to be a nephew, who is now — gasp — 23 years old). The ladies were kind of mean and a little discouraging to my 15-year-old self so I gave up with nary a bootie to show for it.
Truth be told I was probably not as committed as they would have liked; not serious enough about the pursuit, and so knitting went the way of my ice-skating phase, my basketball career, my pottery stage and countless other activities I’ve engaged in at one time or another.
I realize I’m late to this party — Amanda took it up and made me mildly interested about seven years ago. Robin knits. So does Angela. It seems like most people pick it up at one time or another and finally, I think I’m interested too.
I went to the fabric store on a Saturday morning and purchased needles, yarn and a how-to book. I ran into Jen, who also knits, who approved the contents of my shopping bag and wished me luck. I began my attempts that evening.
It’s now a week later and I have very little to show for my efforts. I have started over about six times. The photo of the smug, smiling lady on the cover of my book proclaiming, “I can’t believe I’m knitting!” enrages me. I want to cram her needles into her ear canals until she wipes that sappy grin off her face.
Knitting begets violence, apparently.
The book was no help, really. So I went to YouTube for help and got it. I should have gone there in the first place. (Note to Waldo; if you’re over your illness, grab those needles and head to YouTube — skip the book.) However, AND HERE’S WHERE YOU COME IN, you, knitters of Charlottesville and St. Louis — YOU, within the reach of this blog who knit and can tell me WHAT THE KNIT?! Seriously; if you have any tips or advice, please share them in the comments or shoot me an email.
My husband, observing Try Number Five last night said, “Oh honey, look at that! You knitted a birds’ nest. Good for you!”
BLEGH.
