Thanks to everybody who chimed in to name a new pie blog/blog section all about pie (mmm . . . pie).

Some favorites:

Maya suggested “Life of Pie” – which has a literary reference I like.
Raquita offered up a sassy suggestion to use something with pie hole (because she would).
Angela said, Piety Schmiety! I’m just thinking it’s gotta have the word Pie in it to be searchable — but maybe not.
Lisa, who is one savvy mother, really likes pie and liked my idea of “The Pie Chart.” One of her contributions was “Eat my Pie!” which is totally a Dwight-worthy suggestion.
Speaking of Dwight, and I knew I could count in him for the pervy angle, Mr. Wannabe suggested, “Lick the Beater,” which I think is actually more appropriate for a cake blog, and other favorites including, “The Rolling Pen” and “The Pied Papers” and one I’m particularly fond of: “Crimp My Pie” (which might be better as Crimp My Crust, but again, think ”pie” might need to get in there.  
Our Lady of Perfection pointed out my shortcomings right off the bat. I’m such a rebel, I completely skipped the strict recommendation to start with a fruit pie and went straight off to Fancy Sweet Potato Pie — just because I wanted to make one. Nevertheless, her name ideas came from the movie Waitress; such as “Gonna Bake a Pie.”

My father-in-law can’t believe you guys didn’t suggest “Pie in the Sky.” I have to admit, I’m not wild about this one. I AM, of course, wild about my FIL.

One Cindy said “Pied Piper” but Aunt Cindy said, “A Slice of Life.”

Beth said, “Apple of my Pie” which is pretty darn cute, and finally, Randee suggested “American Pie” but that made me think of the movie and . . . well, you know what that made me think of so, no. Although, I like where she’s going with it and have seriously considered Miss American Pie or Mrs. American Pie . . . so maybe.

THE WINNER

Boy, this was as hard as finding lard. You guys are so creative! As much as I liked all your suggestions, my pick (for now; I’m fickle) is “Life of Pie.” So CONGRATULATIONS Maya! A $10 Starbucks card is on its way to you in the mail! And check it out — I’ve already added the category in the sidebar. One problem — lifeofpie.com is already taken so if/when I get ready to launch I may have to rethink. By then I may have given up on this whole pie business anyway.

Thanks again for playing — you guys rock! Next time, I’ll let you pick my next pie!

I did it. I took the plunge and made the first pie in this experiment. It was hard to choose (and impossible to get consensus) so I picked a pie I’ve always wanted to make; sweet potato pie. Since I’m a Yankee, all things Southern hold extra appeal for me, particularly Southern food. I tried a slice of overprocessed sweet potato pie at a restaurant once and liked it well enough to know that a homemade, from scratch version would be much, much better.

I made the crust with butter and shortening (no lard at Food Lion; the search continues) and it was flaky enough. I made chantilly cream to go on top and the whole mess tasted like heaven to me. The girl was happy; she likes pumpkin pie and this is very similar. The husband gave it a “meh” and the boy refused to even try it.

You guys have been great though, helping me on my quest for the lard and providing pie advice. Also; Patience, what the heck is a hog maw? No, never mind, I don’t really want to know. So I’m thinking about pie-blogging. Maybe on a different blog, maybe here, nevertheless it needs a name. Some thought starters:

• The Pie Chart
• Pie Nation
• Pie’d: A Journey in Crust

I have a feeling you’re much better at this. How about a contest? The Best Pie Blog Name suggestion will win a $10 Starbucks gift card. Contest ends at 10 a.m. Eastern, Wednesday, May 7. Leave your ideas in the comments and I’ll post the winner.

Thursday afternoon, my laptop for work started acting funny. I didn’t find it amusing. Friday, on a deadline, I was dismayed as it turned off, without warning, in the middle of my work. I got it to reboot long enough to do two things that absolutely had to happen. Then, I got the Blue Screen of Death. A call to IT walked me through more reboots and a dire pronouncement, “Ma’am, this is a very serious problem.”

I didn’t know that Blue Screen of Death was an official IT term. Now I know.

Geek Squad ran a $59 diagnostic. I dropped off the laptop about 5 p.m. on Friday and they called with the diagnosis by 10 a.m. the next morning. Now THAT’S good service! Unfortunately, the news was bad, as in, bad hard drive. Kaput. Kaplooie.

I’ve joined the hundreds of thousands of fellow bloggers and laptop-dependent folks who have had computer failure and gone through withdrawals as my laptop is on its merry way to the IT hospital. I’m lucky, I have a backup laptop on which to work this week but it’s not the same.

I know many of you will say, “Get a Mac!” but that’s unfortunately not an option. What’s the best laptop (lightweight yet durable) out there?

Even though I am on a quest to find lard, and obsessed with the idea of baking pies, I am still losing weight. I have dropped 11 lbs. now. How? I was inspired by Michael Pollan’s simple advice: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” Now, that’s an uncomplicated philosophy I can live with. None of this South Beach/Weight Watchers/Atkins business for me. No counting points or weighing food, no special recipes or low carb prepackaged foods; just good food.

I’ve been eating a lot of plants. I’ve made more from scratch. I’ve invested more of my grocery dollars in the produce area and stuck to the perimeter of the grocery store, buying fresh foods and steering clear of anything, as Pollan says, “my grandmother would not recognize as food.” I am young enough, I think, that I consider my great-grandmother instead. Granny would love all the prepackaged stuff. My great-great grandmother, (Wait. I think that’s right. Maybe it was just my great-grandmother.) I was told, was a baker. Her name was Nelly. She had her own bakery in, what would have been the late 1800s. I think of her. Would she consider this food? What would she make of THIS stuff? Wouldn’t she be happy about my desire to create pies? Wouldn’t she be aghast at a woman of my age not having mastered this yet?

I’m walking more, but not very much. I binge walk (better than binge eating, I suppose) when I have time, going on a long walk on the weekends but not fitting it in during the week. I’m eating less, and trying not to skip meals, although lunch remains a challenge. Most of all, I’ve stopped using sugar. Before Lent this year, I would put heaping teaspoons of sugar in my coffee or tea and drink several cups every day. That adds up. I think this alone has made a big impact. I’ve also banned soda with sugar from the house. I will buy diet soda and we do drink it (we like the diet Dr. Pepper and A & W root beer) but I drink less of it, and more water. And tea with no sugar. I still drink coffee, and if I have to, I put Splenda in it.

So I’m not doing anything really dramatic. It’s a change, but it’s not painful. No one feels deprived, least of all me. I still bake, but always from scratch, and not as often. I have had cheeseburgers, frozen yogurt and one evil piece of store-bought cake at a friend’s baby shower. Other than that, I’ve been very disciplined; lots of vegetables, lots of fruit, skim milk, whole grains and lean meat.

I look ridiculous, though. My pants are all huge and hang off of me. I’m glad that it’s getting warmer because I have skirts and skorts a size smaller that I can wear. I celebrated by buying a couple of new dresses and when I wear them, I practically skip, I feel so good. You wouldn’t think 11 lbs. would make much of a difference but it does. I’m hoping to keep it off, and keep going.

Pass the plants, please.

At the Harris Teeter, I paused before the refrigerated case with the butter. I knew if I stood still long enough, an employee would ask if I was finding everything OK. They always do. An employee approached with the requisite question. I did my best Meg Ryan head tilt and asked, “If I were to be in the market for some lard, where might I find it?”

“Oh we don’t sell lard. Had to take it off the shelf. It’s bad for you, you know,” he said.

Inwardly, I snickered. Here we stood in a store that sells cigarettes, bacon, beer and wine, hundreds of products made with synthetic food materials and I’m being told a little lard has been taken off the shelves.

“What are you going to do with lard? Cook some beans?” he asked.

“I want it for pie crust,” I whispered, conspiratorily. “Please don’t tell anyone I’m buying lard.”

It occurred to me that it might be easier to buy illegal drugs than it is to buy lard in this community.

“HEY, JOE! WHERE CAN THIS LADY BUY SOME LARD?”

Oh jeez, now the whole store knows I’m the lard-buying lady. “You weren’t supposed to tell anybody!” I hissed, looking around anxiously for neighbors, kids’ teachers or my DOCTOR. The two employees pondered my dilemma as I tried to blend, chameleon-like into the display of “trans-fat free” margarine. “You probably want to drive out to a country store. No place in town is going to sell lard.”

BECAUSE IT WILL KILL YOU, I thought. “So drive out to some county where nobody knows me and go to a nearly deserted country store and there I will find the lard?”

“Yep. Good luck.”

I continue on my search for The Lard.

Amen.

By far, the most frequently asked question in my house is, “What’s for dinner?” Sometimes this is asked before I even get a hello. A friend of mine left me a voicemail at dinnertime recently and said, “You’re probably making a four-course dinner for your family right now.” (I was.) A neighbor, who recently started working from home, like I do asked, “Do you make dinner every night?” This kind of question kind of baffles me. Of course I make dinner every night. I eat dinner every night and I almost always make it. What do people do that DON’T?!

I know that lots of people eat out more often than we do. Heck, my own parents eat out almost every night. (Or possibly, every night.) I heard of a working mom who went out to eat with her family every night of the week. They went to all chain restaurants, and had a schedule. Something like this: Mondays, Applebees; Tuesdays, Red Robin; Wednesdays, Bob Evans; Thursdays, Chilis; Fridays, Pizza Hut; Saturdays, McDonald’s; Sundays, Old Country Buffet. The idea of this makes me sick. Think of the cost! And wouldn’t you just get so bored? I even hate it when we’re on vacation and road trips require a string of meals eaten out.

So yes, I cook. Almost every night. Sometimes I rely on frozen foods to round out a meal. Sometimes, convenience foods make it all go a little faster; items like pizza crusts, jarred sauces, pre-shredded cheeses, frozen meatballs and frozen vegetables are part of my weekly shopping list. I’m also pretty fond of the frozen biscuits and dinner rolls that allow you to pop just what you need for dinner into the oven and have them ready in less than 20 minutes.

Tonight, having been asked for the millionth time in my life that tired question, I Googled, “What’s for dinner?” and look what I found — a blog with daily recipes. What a great idea. Where do you go for dinner-time inspiration?

I’ve been thinking a lot about pie. Why? Five things happened:

1. When it was on, I watched and adored the show Pushing Daisies. (Returning this fall, btw–joy!) The main character, referred to as “the pie man” makes pies at a restaurant called “The Pie Hole” as in “Shut yer . . .”

2. I saw the movie Waitress. Tell me you can watch that movie and not want pie. Go ahead. LIAR!

3. I read the book Julie and Julia; My Year of Cooking Dangerously. Hilarious and possibly life-altering.

4. I was talking with friends, one of whom admitted to an obsession with gardening. I don’t garden, but I knew what she meant when I confessed, “I’m obsessed with baking.” She understood and said it was the same kind of thing; a tactile activity with a tangible result. Since we work in the same field, on weekends and weeknights we crave the tangible. 

5. I bought, after coveting it on the shelf, the book Pie. It was $40 on the shelf, so I left it at the bookstore after reading several pages, then caved to the crave this week, buying it for much less on Amazon (with free shipping!).  

When I told the boy I bought a book about pie, he wanted to know if it was just pages and pages of the number. LIKE I’D EVER WANT A BOOK ABOUT PI.

I sat and read MUCH of it last night and am about to embark on a mission to become a master pie baker. And yes, I will likely blog the journey. There are sure to be some disasters as I blunder my way through 300 pages of pie recipes.

Another small thing happened while I was having my pie epiphany. Andrew Hersey blogged about a lemon pie that was the best food he’d ever put in his mouth. I had to know more, and Andrew was kind enough to tell me; not meringue, more of a cream. I will endeavor on my pie journey to reproduce this pie. Andrew will have to be an honorary tester.

AND YES, if I can find it, I WILL BAKE A CRUST WITH LARD. (Don’t suppose I can buy this at Rebecca’s or Whole Foods, eh?)

Neighbors and friends be warned: there’s a pie in your near future.

The girl, age 11.

This could be a picture of me at her age, nose stuck in a book.

I’m so glad she’s a reader, like both her parents.

Better still, is the book she’s reading, a favorite of ours. It’s such a thrill to share beloved books with our kids, and have them appreciate them, too.

We spent part of the afternoon in a coffeeshop, she with her hot chocolate, me with a mocha, pleasantly reading, quietly passing the time together, doing what we love to do best.

I have come to a crossroads with my hair. If I continue down one path, there are two diverging roads. On one, I can spend at least $100 a month at a salon where my color will be efficiently and beautifully managed. I’ll never show a bit of gray hair although roots will show and I must be on top of the maintenance schedule. This option is not that appealing to  me. That’s a lot of money over a year’s time. Also, I hate scheduling appointments and spending that kind of time in a salon.

The second road down this path is, of course to color my hair myself. This is much less expensive. I, however, am far from a professional colorist. When I’ve done my hair myself I miss whole sections or the color comes out not exactly the shade I’d hoped. I’ve ranged from chocolate to auburn to a punky maroon. It’s really tough to match plain old brown and not have it look fake or overdyed. Colored hair, particularly for brunettes, looks so obvious to me.

Aside from the reluctance to maintain hair color, either on my own or with professional help, I wonder about the effect of coloring one’s hair. Is it really good for me to have all those chemicals on my head? What about the environment? Is it “green” to color one’s hair? Probably not.

My husband is very anti-hair color. He would actually prefer it if I just let it go. He’s graying at a rate slightly faster than I am, and it looks good on him — of course. Gray hair always looks good on men. I said that I think when people see a (younger) woman with gray hair they think she doesn’t take enough of an interest in her appearance. But I’m not sure that’s true. In the last few weeks I’ve noticed plenty of my friends my age or thereabouts who aren’t coloring their hair. It looks fine — good, even. Normal.

I mean, as a friend from grade school recently pointed out, we’re almost forty. Who are we kidding, here?

So I’m seriously considering it. So much in fact it’s been months since I’ve covered my gray. I don’t have much — just a string of holiday lights along my part and a few at my temples. In the right light, it looks silvery, and I’m hoping, in the sun, like highlights. Maybe I’ll be lucky and have that lovely silvery hair that some older women have, rather than dull, colorless locks.

My guess is it will take ten years or more before I’m completely gray. Maybe even closer to 20. Although, in the next ten years the girl will go through all of what teenagerhood holds. She may well turn my hair white overnight.

Are you going gray? Where do you stand on the hair coloring issue? I used to think I’d color till I was dead, never for a minute revealing my true color. Now though, I think I’ll just let it go, and see what happens. If I start being mistaken for a much older woman, then I can always start coloring again.

I really do not like shorts. I think they look terrible on just about everyone.

I don’t even find capris, while comfortable, terribly flattering to all but the thinnest, longest-legged women.

I like skorts. They’re more flattering than shorts and are good for the hottest of days.

I like skirts, in fact I wear them a lot in the summer.

A dress though, is what you want for those hottest days. My search for the perfect sundress is never ending.

This is cute, and in a nice summery color. (From Victoria’s Secret for $29). I’m not, as you know, sixteen-years-old, so I doubt I can pull it off.

If you’re sixteen, though, you should consider it. The price is right.

This is not bad, from Newport News for $59 on sale. This model reminds me of the woman with the gorgeous hair on CSI Miami.

I will never have that hair. How does she keep it from frizzing in the Miami heat? These things really distract from the plot.

 I like a nice halter dress.

I’m into brown this year, too and have shoes that would look nice with this.

But, at $250 from Neiman Marcus, I think I’m going to have to pass.

As a side note, remember that famous pinup of Farrah Faucet? The one where she’s wearing the orange swimsuit? I saw that in a magazine today and you know what was refreshing to notice? She’s not frighteningly thin. And she’s not surgically enhanced. She looks pretty but normal. Wouldn’t it be nice if more models looked like Farrah used to? I’m just sayin’.

Of course, I don’t think we need to go back to the big frosted hair. I’m OK if that doesn’t come back in style.

I think I need an intervention. I’m completely drawn to two patterns when I shop: polka dots and paisley. I have owned, or currently own, plenty of polka dots. I’ve managed to steer clear of the paisley, but there’s a swimsuit I’ve been eyeing that’s aswirl with pink, orange, green and blue paisley. Somebody stop me.

This is lovely, though, and comes in brown, too. It’s $168 at J. Crew. I could do without the rosette thing. That would have to come off.

What do you think? Too bridesmaid?

As I said, the search for the summer dress never ends.