I have been traveling, as you could probably tell from my previous post. I’m back where I belong 90 percent of the time, however, so all is returning to normal.

You should know that if I disappear from this blog for a period of time, say four to six days, it is probably work-related stress and/or travel. It may also be that I’m not trusting myself to pour my true, current emotions through the keyboard. I’m counting to ten before I blog.

If, however I disappear for a month or so, look back at the last post. I’ll probably tell you where I’m going and when I’ll be back.

If I’m gone for more than a month, with no word of why, alert the authorities.

But that’s not what I wanted to tell you tonight. No, I wanted to tell you about the Airshrew. In the row ahead of me, across the aisle, sat a woman on my plane. She was tiny, in designer jeans, embellished hoodie, large sparkly platinum rings and acrylic nails. You know this woman. You’ve seen her. Her eye makeup was excessive. She spent the beginning of the flight perusing her People magazines. She spent the middle and remainder of the flight berating her husband for his stupidity. I snapped to attention when I heard, “Did you sleep with her? Did you? Well then how would you KNOW, Asa, you idiot.”

YIPES.

I then heard her tell poor Asa how asinine he is for the next hour or so. At one point she held out a pack of gum for him to take a piece. When he reached for it she SMACKED his hand and yelled at him for touching her gum. WHAT?

I prayed during the landing, not for a safe landing, but so that Asa would smarten up and dump that disaster of a woman and that please, God, they wouldn’t be catching the same connection, and staying or living, in my town.

I’m happy to tell you Charlottesville, that the airshrew is not one of our own. I could hardly write this if she were because EVERYONE would know her and tell her at which point she’d come find me and berate me endlessly for my stupidity.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 12th, 2007 at 8:51 pm and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.