In Which I Become an Evil Stage Mother

The girl was a few months old when the JonBenet Ramsey tragedy occurred. I remember, as images of the tiny beauty queen splayed across the television, my MIL calling and saying, “promise me you won’t take the girl on the pageant circuit.” I promised. That was easy. The fully made up children with giant hairdos gave me the creeps; that was not the life I wanted for my little girl.

Unfortunately, we have little to do with what our children want to be when they grow up. Since she was small, the girl has described her dream occupations as pop star, diva, drama queen and the like. She desires the stage and since she could talk, has always been “on.”

So despite my efforts to keep her sequestered in a High School Musical world, her music teacher took note, and cast her as Sacajawea in the school’s production of Lewis & Clark, the musical. Now, don’t get too excited. She’s the “B team” Sacajawea. There are two performances, one during the day, one at night. The other Sacajawea is a fifth grader and has the evening role. The girl will, no doubt, be the star of the afternoon show.

We’ve been very supportive during the whole process; rehearsals, drama, costume issues, memorizing, listening to the CD of the musical nightly. We hoped, of course, she would score the more popular evening edition, but alas, as a fourth grader, it was not entirely unexpected. Thing is, the fifth grade Sacajawea has had the flu for a week. She’s been out of school, missing, by my calculations, about 10 hours of rehearsal. She was back, suddenly, today, ready to perform in the show tomorrow. Seriously, I’m wondering, is she up to it? Will she do it justice? Is she still SICK? Hey, why not put MY KID in, instead? She’s ready to go!

I’ve gone easy on the masterminds behind the musical; they’re under visible strain, wrangling this giant cast of elementary school kids. I haven’t said a word but on the inside, I’m a raging Evil Stage Mother, wanting my kid to hog the spotlight and steal the show. I’ll behave, though, I promise. Although I can’t promise I won’t wear my “I’m Sacajawea’s Mom” tee shirt to the play.