There were three moments during my Blogher weekend that made my heart hurt.

One, Birdie told a crowded room how, when she was a girl she had to write a story about a cockroach as a punishment at school. The pleasure she got out of writing that story was immense and delighted with her work, she went home and told her father she wanted to be a writer. Her father folded down the newspaper he was reading, looked at Birdie and said, “Don’t be a writer. You’ll never make it.” And Birdie didn’t write again until 25 years later.

I think every writer has experienced rejection; it’s that which comes from closest to our hearts that stops our pens or our fingers. I’m glad Birdie found her way back to words.

Two, Elizabeth Edwards told the room of 800 bloggers about a woman who she met on the campaign trail. The woman whispered to her about the lump she’d found in her breast. She had no insurance; no money. This woman, said Edwards, would die.

Three, later that night I called a friend of mine. I’ve written of M., my friend who is living with metastatic cancer. Her cancer began as breast cancer and now, five years of treatment later, her employer is strongly encouraging her to quit. Her job performance is stellar; she works more than the required hours. She needs the insurance. I mean, NEEDS it. Without treatment, like anyone with progressing cancer, she will die. I find it incredible her employer is comfortable having that reality ahead of them. If they force her out it will be akin to killing her. Hearing how hurt she is by the treatment she’s getting from her trusted employer, my heart hurt even more.

I think the state of healthcare for people in the U.S. – not just poor people but hardworking middle class people, too — is a national tragedy. I don’t get political in this space, but the healthcare issue sometimes hits way too close to home.

Did we meet at Blogher?

I set up a We Met at Blogher wiki to arrange and save all the great contacts I met at Blogher07. This is an open and collaborative project in which all Blogher attendees can participate, adding and editing contacts, links and notes. Enjoy!

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Here’s my celebrity moment caught by photographer, social media expert and friend Josh Hallett. Photo courtesy of Josh and Flickr.

Elizabeth Edwards was warm and extremely accessible to the Blogher crowd, even joining us at the cocktail party after her keynote, an unexpected bonus.

All of Josh’s outstanding photos of Blogher are here.

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Elizabeth Edwards was introduced as an attorney, mother, wife and blogger and is Blogher07’s keynote speaker, interviewed by Blogher founder Lisa Stone.

She describes the blogosphere as the new town square. She said she has been blogging before blogging existed, interacting within newsgroups and listservs, as she looked for an online community while she experienced trying to get pregnant and after the loss of her son.

She said, “Part of the magic is the medium makes us not separate from one another.”

Stone asked about the experience dealing with Ann Coulter. “I think of trolls as cowards,” Edwards said, “Sometimes you have to confront them.”

“Having a blog is like having a child that needs to be fed three times a day,” she said. “I admire you all.”

“We need people to take an aggressive stand on healthcare and women’s issues.” Edwards said most of the questions she gets are about healthcare.

Questions came from the audience. Follows are some of Edwards’ responses:

On childcare:
“I was a working mother myself dealing with childcare issues. The big problem is we don’t have enough slots in childcare.”

“Education should be a birth to death experience.”

“Sometimes we need to educate both parents and children.”

About activism: 

“Young people feel powerless because they don’t believe thier voice will be heard.”

“If the mothers were in charge there would be no wars.”

On blogs:

“The genius behind blogs is that it invites people to tell their personal stories.”

When asked how many people have to approve her blog posts before they are published, Edwards said, “Zero.”

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In every session I’ve been in at Blogher there have been tremendous audio issues. Earsplitting feedback, mics that don’t work, inconsistent audio quality — it’s the worst part of this conference so far, and something I hope the Blogher organizers work to manage better in the future.

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Blogher’s youngest speaker, 16-year-old Chloe Spencer is part of this diverse panel. Her site, Neopets Fanatic, is earning her $30 a day. Blogger incomes vary — our panelists’ comfort in sharing income details vary as well. One, at least, makes six figures as a full time blogger and blog editor for dozens of blogs. Another makes about $1,000 a month.

Revenue is generated from ads via Google Adsense and Blogher ads as well as other ad networks.

Some bloggers are paid for their work, rather than making ad-generated income.

Monetizing has been a very hot topic at this conference. Surprisingly, there are women who have issues with using blogs to make money. There are people who don’t think it’s right to make money blogging. This has been debated in many sessions — but not this one — where everyone wants to know how to start making money or to make more money.

Speaker sites:

• b5media
• Neopets Fanatic
• AskPatty.com
• Paula Neal Mooney
• City Mama

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I seem to keep choosing the most popular sessions at Blogher. This panel includes two published authors and a literary agent and the audience has those who’ve published and many considering it.

Ariel Meadow Stallings wrote Offbeat Bride – she was discovered as a writer for her personal blog, wrote a book on a different topic, then established a blog to support the book. Side note: Ariel has fantastic hot pink tipped braids and coined the phrase “bridentity crisis.” She’s also got great wardrobe style.

Gina Trapani publishes the LifeHacker blog and from that, authored Lifehacker: 88 Tech Tricks to Turbocharge your Day.

Some takeaways from this session include the fact that blogs do not always translate to books well, that bloggers write books that fit into one of two categories; memoirs or service books. Interestingly these two author/panelists both wrote service books. Audience members have published memoirs.

A book deal seems to be, judging from the standing-room only session, a highly sought after prize from a large number of bloggers.

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Liveblogging from the Blogher State of the Momosphere panel.

Why moms blog:

• Working through post-partum depression
• Looking for advice and support from other moms
• Finding community
• Looking for friends
• Self-publishing; wanting to be read
• Post-election depression

About exclusion and inclusion:

Is it like high school? Are people shunning one another? Some mom bloggers think so.

How many people can you/should you link to in a blogroll? Are you excluding people if you don’t crosspost or add them to your blogroll? Some moms have removed their blogrolls.

Responding to comments is important. Sarcastic Journalist who is one of the “big girls” of blogging, shared a story about bloggers who have retaliated out of anger when she didn’t respond to comments. The momosphere has gotten meaner — maybe because it has gotten bigger. We need to remind each other that lack of response is not personal.

Niche communities have formed with geocentric bloggers, moms who blog who are close enough geographically that they can form communities offline as well.

One way people can boost their interaction from their blogs is to e-mail bloggers with their question in the subject line — they will be more likely to get a response.

The struggle of being identified as a mommybloggers:

There’s power within the community, but lack of respect outside of it, unless you’re a consumer products company looking to harness the power of the mommybloggers.

A blogger from Parents magazine said that the respect issue for moms who are topical authorities extends to the magazine as well. “It’s more of a cultural thing than just a blog issue.”

Mommybloggers note that as kids grow older, out of the toddler years, their audiences fade. Most “mommybloggers” are those with young children. Obviously, this phase is not permanent.

Monetizing their blogs:

• Someone who doesn’t, does not want to be accused of “making a buck” off her kids.
• Another mom blogs as a hobby and does not monetize.
• You’re privleged if you can blog and not do it for the money.
• Why not do it? Even if it is a hobby.
• Another mom says monetization has given her blog validity in her offline life; that friends and family have greater understanding of her commitment to her blog.
• There’s nothing wrong with making money doing what you love to do, even if that is blogging.
• We need to make sure we’re not exploited; there are a lot of commercial outlets targeting moms who blog.

Note to marketers targeting mommybloggers: Take time to read the blog before pitching your product.

Favorite quotes from this session, “meanass blogtards” and ”Googlejuice.” From one of the suits in the room, “On behalf of corporate America, I apologize.”

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I’m a bit late in posting this but if you’re scratching your head over recent posts it’s because I’m liveblogging from the Blogher conference. If you’re a blogger, this might be of interest. Wordpress is having serious issues today so the “live” is sometimes delayed, but I’m doing the best I can.

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If you’re not here, and not me, you’re not experiencing Blogher the way I am, so I’ll just share with you what this experience feels like. This is a little more personal than most of my blog posts, but that’s an effect of the energy and estrogen, I think.

This is how I feel – it’s like knowing you’re adopted your whole life and one day, finding out you have a whole bunch of sisters, and maybe a brother or two. So you start corresponding with some of your newfound siblings and then you arrange a meeting. This conference is a little like what I think that reunion would be like. It’s unbelievably emotional for me to be with so many people with the same interests, issues and thoughts that I have. While I’m enjoying it thoroughly, there’s a part of me that just wants to go off in the corner and sob tears of gratefulness. It is the overwhelming joy of finding community. I know I’m being overly sentimental but truly, this is a very moving experience for me, as a writer.

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