STLWorkingMom

Aliens abducted my children and replaced them with exact, giant replicas that are NICE to each other.

Creepin’ me out, man.

Yesterday, the girl was disappointed because I couldn’t ditch work and take her up to the school to shoot hoops. (side note: the girl begins her illustrious basketball career tomorrow. Look for the Air Jaggers shoe (sizes 11 and up, only) in a store near you, soon). When the boy got home, she asked him to take her.

AND HE DID.

But first, he insisted on filling her ball with more air. And then he walked her to the school and gave her pointers while she practiced.

“And then he laid down and watched me for awhile.” Well, that’s normal, anyway.

Freaky kids. I think I like it.

When I was 16, I had a job writing movie reviews for the local Catholic newspaper. I was limited to anything rated PG or G, naturally. The first review I wrote was for that box office hit, Harry and The Hendersons. (Don’t bother; it was stupid.)

I’m reminded of that on a regular basis. Why? Because a couple named the Hendersons had my office phone number before I did. I’ve had the number now for close to two years and STILL GET CALLS FOR THEM.

Today, someone really wanted to get ahold of old Robert and Loretta. Someone who wanted to place a COLLECT call. They tried four times. Enough for me to call my phone service and find out how to block them. The first question from the customer service person? “Are they in jail?”

Who knows! Hey Hendersons! Someone’s trying to reach you and PLEASE update your phone number in the dozens of files you have all over town.

I learned that it costs $2 a month to block all collect calls to your phone. Just in case this ever happens to you.

1. I didn’t buy the blue wig the FIRST time we saw one.
2. You cannot buy a pumpkin in Charlottesville if you wait until Oct. 28. (and dudes, no — I am not driving to Ruckersville for a pumpkin.)
3. I should have checked the Halloween costume box way before Oct. 28 to discover that the grim reaper getup exists only in my memory.
4. I cannot sew. Particularly not between Oct. 28 and Oct. 31, 2007.
5. I should not travel before/during any kid-important holiday. Or if I do, plan WAY ahead.

Worst. Mother. Ever. I found her in her room on the phone with giant cartoon tears rolling down her face. (Appropriate, actually since she’s going as an anime character.)

The good part? I remembered to buy candy and fashioned a costume out of four of the 41 black items of clothing I own.

I am forgiven.

I want to thank everyone who came out for the STL Blogger Gathering last night. We had 30 or so of the most attractive bloggers in St. Louis, sipping Pumpkin Ale at Schlafly Bottleworks well into the night.

I had a lot of fun meeting people I felt like I already knew, but more fun than that, was getting to watch other people connect. My favorite moment was when Benticore (Jerry) realized he was about to come face-to-face with Dwight Wannabe for the very first time. He was as nervous as a schoolgirl on her first date. And folks — I can attest to the fact that Dwight’s Beautiful Wife is indeed, beautiful.

Special thanks to Dana for promoting the gathering and showing up; to Jeanette (who has a wonderful voice) for promoting, coming and bringing readers; to Michelle for getting the blogging lawyers, Dennis Kennedy and Matt Homann (who, it turns out, works for a client of Standing’s) to show; to Liz, who now has a new blogger BFF; and to Raquita, whose life philosophy and sage advice keep us laughing and nodding in agreement; and to Todd Jordan (and Sharon, too) for the great photos and interesting conversation. Thanks also to the members of the Standing Partnership blogging team who were able to make it, including Cathy, Susan, Maria and Kristin. And of course, to my friends and nonbloggers, Trish, Ed and my “handler” Barry, who came out for moral support and to meet the bloggers, too.

There were a few moments that my heart just swelled with happiness; sitting at a table with Dwight, Dwight’s Beautiful Wife, Raquita and Jerry, I was so delighted that those four particular people in the world were together, that my eyes very nearly welled with tears; when Jerry extended his arms to give me a big bear hug before he left (what a sweetheart that guy is); (Oh and folks, I was huggier than I’ve ever been in my life, I think. EVERYONE got one) and when Dana and I were just CRACKING up during some silly conversation (btw, I am so much taller).

Todd Jordan and my friend Trish took a great set of photos: clickety for the slideshow.

I had a blast, and I think everyone else did, too.

What do you MEAN this is the first you’ve heard of it? All the cool kids will be at the STL Blogger Gathering tonight at Schlafly Bottleworks. Don’t worry — they know we’re coming — and are excited about dozens close to a hundred (hey — could be!) bloggers descending upon the establishment. Here is the important stuff you need to know.

Some ground rules:

Share your URL on your nametag. If you’re anonymous, don’t feel obligated to share your name, but give us something to call you, anyway.

I’m not really a stranger hugger. If we’ve been reading one another and commenting reciprocally for awhile, you might get one. If not, I’m totally down with the handshake.

Be friendly. Yeah, you’re going to have to converse with some people you may never have heard of, but hey, everyone’s a stranger until they meet, right?

Go ahead and share the gathering info with fellow bloggers and your blog supporters. It’s time we all got together. This year, I attended BlogHer with 800 bloggers and BlogOrlando with close to 200. It’s an incredibly powerful experience to be in a room with a bunch of other bloggers. You’re going to love it!

More people I can’t wait to meet:

Marriage 101

BBMP Second Journal

Jeannette Eats Spaghetti

Operating Instructions, Please

Raquita — The Wise Old Black Lady in Training

Hoping to see YOU, too!