New Mom Going Back to Work? 5 Guilt-Busting Tricks

I’m not going to lie to you; there’s no way to go back to work full time and leave your little bundle of joy in someone else’s care without a few pangs, but here are five ways you can shed some of the guilt on your way out the door:

  1. Write yourself a note for your bulletin board, your dashboard, your laptop or your pocket. Not unlike Homer Simpson’s reminder, covered with pictures of baby Maggie, remind yourself to “do it for her,” or him, or them. Chances are you’re going to work for a paycheck and a career, both will help you to be a better parent and to provide for your children’s future.

2. If this is your first baby, and you’ve been quite literally attached to him since birth, plan some practice runs in the weeks before you return to work. This is a good opportunity for your childcare provider and you to become comfortable before you’re at the office a full day. Use this opportunity take care of yourself. Get a haircut, a massage or a pedicure.

3. Realize that you’re not alone; Michelle Obama, Katie Couric and Angelina Jolie have all left their children to go to work. See, you do have something in common with them. And I guarantee that even they had terrible mornings or moments where they just wanted to give up and go home.

4. Find a community of working moms from whom you can get advice, vent frustrations or find solutions to balancing work and family. If you can’t find one in your community or industry, start one.

5. Try to find a blog post from a guy, or a guy you know who can share the story of the guilt they felt in leaving their little ones to go to work. What’s that? Can’t find one? When all else fails, think like a guy, and go out for a beer on the way home.

About marijean

I'm a public relations professional, social media consultant and work-at-home-mom living and working in Charlottesville, Va. I'm Marijean Jaggers and this is my blog.
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5 Responses to New Mom Going Back to Work? 5 Guilt-Busting Tricks

  1. Bradi says:

    I am a guilt ridden mommy. Often I feel suffocated by own guilt. You see, I stayed home for eight years with my kids before going back to work. HUGE adjustment for the entire family. Funny though because I teach women to forge ahead and push through the guilt. When I interviewed Malaak Compton-Rock (wife to Chris Rock) she said that she knows she was put on this earth to do more than to be a mother and wife. And, I too feel the same.

    The dozens of moms, celebrity and peers, that I’ve interviewed for my site all wrestle with guilt. What we need to realize, and I am coming along, is that our children are resilient. Working moms, heck even at-home moms, are great role models to their kids. And, that’s nothing to be guilty about!
    Bradi Nathan
    Co-Founder
    MyWorkButterfly.com
    @bradinathan

  2. Thank you for this “reminder” list – it has made me feel a little bit better about going to work full-time. I am a nurse. I have worked evenings and weekends and night shifts since becoming a Mommy 6 years ago. I have been there for everything my 6 and 3 yr old have needed -and if I wasn’t, my husband was. I have been very fortunate for about 3 years now, to be able to work anywhere from 1-4 shifts per MONTH – it has been wonderful! But I knew the gravy train would end someday, and it has. With rising expenses and home improvement needs, it has become abundantly clear that we are living beyond our means. So I will be starting a full time job next month. I have very mixed feelings about it – one minute I feel anxious and about to cry at the thought of taking my 3 yr old to daycare every single day – no more playdates, no more lazy mornings making pretend food for each other, etc . . . My 6 year old is going to be in school all day this year, which makes me very sad too, but I recognize that life is changing and I have to make the needed adjustments. I am also scared that I might actually like having my career and more time to myself away from my kids -talk about guilt – ugh. BUT, after reading this blog and remembering that I really am doing it for them, not for me (well not fully for me!), and that they are resilient and will still be happy kids who love their Mommy, I know I will get through it.
    Thank you for your insight and advice!
    Kelly

  3. fred says:

    there’s a reason you feel guilty – because you SHOULD
    mother’s belong with their children; kids are not pets to be dropped off at day care
    do everything you can to work out some arrangement with your husband – so you can be at home

    “Working moms, heck even at-home moms, are great role models to their kids.”
    stay-at-home-mom heck yes, working-mom heck no

    “they are resilient and will still be happy kids”
    why do they need to be resilient if working-mom is so good…
    they’ll be happiest with you at home

    look just stop trying to deny the plain truth….you’re a mother…your children need you at home

  4. Dania says:

    Hey Fred, since your obviously not a mother, none the less a woman, why don’t you take your opinion to the “I’m the dad of a sissy” blog, or maybe the “My son is a queer” blog.

    You have no idea what it is like to be a wife who just gave birth and is concerned about leaving her child so she may contribute to her family. Just because a woman is not the breadwinner for her family, it does not mean she cannot continue with her career oriented lifestyle, nor does it mean she is a negligent mother because of it.

    I came to this blog seeking supportive ideas from other WOMEN who may be experiencing the same delimma I am concerning returning to work, not because I’m interested in the opinion of someone who could never be put in the same situation.

    Fred, your an asshole.

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