I really do not like shorts. I think they look terrible on just about everyone.

I don’t even find capris, while comfortable, terribly flattering to all but the thinnest, longest-legged women.

I like skorts. They’re more flattering than shorts and are good for the hottest of days.

I like skirts, in fact I wear them a lot in the summer.

A dress though, is what you want for those hottest days. My search for the perfect sundress is never ending.

This is cute, and in a nice summery color. (From Victoria’s Secret for $29). I’m not, as you know, sixteen-years-old, so I doubt I can pull it off.

If you’re sixteen, though, you should consider it. The price is right.

This is not bad, from Newport News for $59 on sale. This model reminds me of the woman with the gorgeous hair on CSI Miami.

I will never have that hair. How does she keep it from frizzing in the Miami heat? These things really distract from the plot.

 I like a nice halter dress.

I’m into brown this year, too and have shoes that would look nice with this.

But, at $250 from Neiman Marcus, I think I’m going to have to pass.

As a side note, remember that famous pinup of Farrah Faucet? The one where she’s wearing the orange swimsuit? I saw that in a magazine today and you know what was refreshing to notice? She’s not frighteningly thin. And she’s not surgically enhanced. She looks pretty but normal. Wouldn’t it be nice if more models looked like Farrah used to? I’m just sayin’.

Of course, I don’t think we need to go back to the big frosted hair. I’m OK if that doesn’t come back in style.

I think I need an intervention. I’m completely drawn to two patterns when I shop: polka dots and paisley. I have owned, or currently own, plenty of polka dots. I’ve managed to steer clear of the paisley, but there’s a swimsuit I’ve been eyeing that’s aswirl with pink, orange, green and blue paisley. Somebody stop me.

This is lovely, though, and comes in brown, too. It’s $168 at J. Crew. I could do without the rosette thing. That would have to come off.

What do you think? Too bridesmaid?

As I said, the search for the summer dress never ends.

All my blogging dreams have come true.

Over the weekend, the girl’s feet grew again. She’s passed me up; now wearing a size 11 shoe. I said, “Prince has a song where he says, ‘act your age, not your shoe size.’ I guess that doesn’t really apply here.”

I won’t tease her about it (too much) because of my mother. My mom wore a size 10 when she was about 13 years old. She’s told me the story many times, about going to the shoe store and having some insensitive moron of a shoe salesman tell her, “If your feet get any bigger, you’ll have to wear the shoebox.”

She’s been carrying around that story for 60 years.

So when my daughter had her feet measured over the weekend, the salesperson suggested she look at mens’ shoes (we were shopping for basketball shoes). My daughter was mortified. She obliging tried on a giant pair of Nikes but wanted to go home and research pink basketball shoes online. We did, but didn’t buy any yet because what she liked was a pair for $110. That’s a bit much for someone whose feet I’m not certain are done growing.

At coffee Monday morning, my friend told me about a friend of hers whose daughter wears a size 13. When her daughter needs dress shoes, the mom shops at a resale store in downtown Charlottesville, that carries the castoffs of local crossdressers. Who else has a need for size 13 pumps? So, C’villians, where is this store? We may need to shop with the crossdressers, soon.

On Saturday morning, I bought one of these. If you know me well enough, say, to know my middle name and how I like my coffee, you might know that I spent several years selling appliances at Sears. Put me through college, it did; straight commission, too. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve managed to retain my vast knowledge on all things appliance related. Dishwashers are my favorite. I am extremely picky about dishwashers. I sold all kitchen appliances and washers and dryers during my illustrious tenure. I ruined my feet and made some great friends, too. I learned a lot; about people, about selling and about myself.

Since then (beginning in 1990) I’ve been the appliance buying consultant to family and friends. Since I kissed that nametag and timecard goodbye going on eleven years ago, it’s kind of flattering that I’m still everyone’s call when it comes to the tools that make their kitchen and laundry room operate. I’ve fielded more calls from people standing at the cash wrap in a Sears store than you would believe.

So in a way, it’s kind of thrilling when it’s my turn to play customer. Fortunately, it doesn’t happen often, but in the last five years I’ve purchased a washer, dryer, fridge and now, a range. All Kenmore, in case you’re wondering. The laundry appliances were made by Whirlpool. The fridge and range are made by G.E. I know what I’m doing. The range is Consumer Reports’ best choice and mine, too.

So the next time you’re facing a major appliance purchase, drop me a line. I’d love to help you out, commission free.

In about eight weeks, we’ll be headed to Las Vegas for a wild weekend of regressing to our college days our friend Dave’s wedding.

Dave’s the goof in the middle:

In preparation, we were watching the Travel Channel and saw a program on vacationing in Las Vegas. It covered topics on where to stay, what do do, myths, truths, etc.

Everyone looked like they were losing their shirts having a good time.

The narrator pointed out that eye-popping skank-wear certain attire is required to even think about entering the nightclubs. As I pointed the remote and clicked OFF, I thought, “Egads. I haven’t a thing to wear.”

A Vegas wardrobe is not really part of the work at home mom daily attire. Not even my shoes are Vegas-friendly. Shopping for Vegas starts here.

I’ve been informally polling gambling fiends Vegas regulars at Gamblers Anonymous meetings networking events and informal gatherings to gauge just how serious the wardrobe crisis at hand might be, and it seems it is serious indeed.

I’m going to need a dress or two, some barely legal tops and some high-heeled, yet comfortable shoes.

Nothing says Vegas, baby! like sequins, eh? I’m not sure this is really “me” — not even “Vegas Mj” — but it’s got style coming and going.

Paging Twiggy.

What is this for? A Laugh-In revival? I think, no.

The jumpsuit.

I can have a drink with you, roll some dice, and then fix your car.

What year is this, anyway?

This is a bit too Charlie’s Angels for moi.

Ah, well. It won’t matter much what I’m wearing if I’ve got on a pair of Jimmy Choo’s.

Hey, Oprah? Can I get a pair of shoes?

It’s time to find a new provider for our family of three cell phone users. We need inexpensive or free texting, good reach, coverage when we travel, and hopefully, a couple of free or inexpensive new phones thrown in for good measure. We’ve been using Sprint and we’re ready to jump.

What service do you use, Central Virginia? What do you recommend?

I have loved to shop online from the earliest days of my Internet life. Although I was aware that buying groceries online has been an option for a few years, I hadn’t taken advantage of it. In truth, I considered online grocery shopping to be a service for the old, the infirm, the disabled, the mom with a new infant or a gaggle of preschoolers in tow. I thought it was expensive, too — fixing it in my head at $15, when in reality, it’s only $5 (at Harris Teeter, anyway. In St. Louis, Dierbergs has a Groceries to Go online service with delivery for $12.95 plus 10 percent of your bill.)

And then, a few weeks ago, my husband told me his colleague Kelly does it all the time. He said, “Think about the time savings. How long does it take you to grocery shop?”

“At least an hour, sometimes an hour and a half.”

“Isn’t your time worth $5?”

Yes, yes it is. Not every store has online shopping of course. We’re lucky that the upscale grocery store chain with a location nearest to us, Harris Teeter, does. Here’s how it works: you select all the items you want to purchase from the store Web site — there’s an aisle by aisle directory with photos to help you make your selections and a search feature when you can’t find what you need. The first time out was time-consuming because I created a master list; a list of all the items I buy every week, like bread and milk, apples and bananas, etc. Once you’re done shopping, you check out with a credit card or note that you want to pay by check when you arrive. Then you choose from a selection of times for pick-up (they only staff for the online shopping service certain times of day, certain days of the week.) At this stage, you can also provide any special notes or tell them if you’ll allow substitutions.

When you arrive at the store (within the half hour pickup time previously selected), there is a designated parking spot for online shoppers. Pull into the spot, push the button and tell the disembodied voice your last name. Within minutes, a friendly employee will come out and load up your car with the groceries that have been pre-gathered and waiting for you in vast refrigerators just inside the store. This week, my personal shopper Denise told me about some substitutions she’d made, for example, a much larger box of cereal for just $.10 more, and the store brand chocolate chips (I’ll be baking cookies when I get done, here) since the name brand I selected was out of stock. I appreciate the additional thought provided by the shoppers who make sure I’m getting the best produce and the best deals.

I have made a few mistakes the first two times I’ve done it. The first time, I was thinking “one bunch of bananas” and what I got was one, single banana in a plastic bag. I forgot this week to order the ground beef by the pound and got just one quarter pound of beef (burger, anyone?). I’m getting the hang of it though.

The advantages, besides all the time-saving is that I’m not tempted to buy any impulse junk food; I’m more likely to remember everything if I have time to think about my purchases throughout the week, also because the master list is automated so the regular weekly items I need won’t be forgotten; and, I can more easily review prices with a running total as I’m shopping. I remember days when my weekly budget was under $100 and I’d carefully crawl the aisles with a calculator to make sure I didn’t overspend; this has the same function, and is much less humiliating. I’ll pay $5 for that, anytime.

Now, obviously, the online shopping is for the big weekly spree — not the dash for the gallon of milk or the pound of ground beef I’ll have to pick up some time . . .  it’s for saving that exhausting hour or so of wandering the aisles giving me more time for family, relaxing on the weekends and of course, blogging.

Have you tried online grocery shopping? What did you think? If you haven’t, would you be willing to give it a shot? The first time you shop online with Harris Teeter is FREE, so like any addictive habit, they know how to get you hooked.

I am a big fan of St. Louis nonprofit KidSmart, and first wrote about the organization in 2003. I am lucky enough to work for a company that supports the Push for Pencils effort. Standing Partnership is again partnering with KidSmart for this terrific campaign.

KidSmart is a store that provides school supplies including paper, pencils, crayons and other necessities to teachers in school districts where kids are largely underprivileged. If you’re a teacher you know it’s not uncommon to shell out your own dollars to help kids who don’t have the basics. KidSmart makes it easier for kids, teachers and schools to be successful.

It is a fact: there are more than 80,000 students in St. Louis who cannot afford basic school supplies. KidSmart is there to help and has provided more than $5 million in school supplies to kids since 2002.  

Here’s how you can help a child succeed in school this year: donate cash online, to help KidSmart stock and manage their operations or contribute to the Push for Pencils campaign by buying school supplies and dropping them at one of the many locations accepting them during the back-to-school season.

It’s such a simple thing, really — but you’d be making a huge difference in a child’s life.

Here’s what school kids need most:

• Pencils
• Crayons
• Markers
• Glue
• Fiskar scissors
• Supply boxes
• Spiral notebooks
• Loose leaf paper
• Backpacks
• 2-Pocket Folders
• Pens
• Erasers

Thanks in advance for your generosity. Tell them I sent you!

Several people have written about and mentioned the desire for a Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Lord & Taylor or other high-end, upscale department store to descend upon our little village. We sure have the bucks to shop there, but, I hate to tell you Charlottesville, it’s not going to happen.

Here’s why: to support say, a Nordstrom, the most realistic of the options, the store would need about 300 well-dressed, upscale, educated employees, all willing to work for say, $9 an hour. The store would need those employees to have reliable transportation, and be able to make it to work early during difficult weather months, like December, upon which many retailers hang their proverbial hat. These employees, some of which would only be offered part-time positions, would need to be local, and without a living wage, we all know that employees at that level would have to come “over the mountain.” Not. Gonna. Happen.

Some people outside our community might say, hey, what about all those UVA college students? Don’t they need jobs? Well, no. Not really. Most of them don’t work. They don’t need to. They’re funded in a variety of ways and those that do work, do so during the summer, a summer spent, thankfully, not in Charlottesville. Aside from that, most of them would prefer a non-retail job that pays better than $9, if possible, and hopefully something closer to their field of study. These are smart kids, and often, they can find positions on or near grounds, eliminating transporation needs.

To find employees, Nordstrom would have to steal every last makeup girl from Belk, the well-suited guys at Men’s Wearhouse, and cherry-pick among the boutique employees, many of whom are loyal to employers who are generally, family members. It would be a tough road, and they’d have to pay, at least, $12 an hour.

So it looks like for at least the next 10 years or so we’ll be making the trek to Short Pump. It’s not so bad, really. Road trip, anyone?

My sister Karen’s birthday is July 8. I, as usual, have been thinking about what to get her for several weeks and have not made an actual purchase. So here we are, down to the wire and resigned to the extra cost for shipping.

Maybe a watch? I’m thinking this because I want a watch. The girl lost my watch (long story) somewhere in the swamp of the common ground behind our house. It’s gone forever.

 I like this. But it’s $2,000. Sorry K. Not this year.

I’m pretty interested in supporting a cure for breast cancer, even when shopping. Philosophy has a shampoo, bath and shower gel set to “Shower for the Cure.”

That would be nice, and would support our friends, like M. and S., survivors!

She’s a talented, crafty gal who likes to read, so maybe a book?

She reads a lot, like I do, and it’s hard to know what’s she’s already read, or what her book club might be selecting.

Unless it’s something new, I wouldn’t really feel safe.

This might be it! We were both pretty into Diana during the era of the princess. My sister, in fact, sported a puffy-sleeved wedding gown, not unlike that seen at the royal wedding.

By the way, my sister lives in a somewhat rural area and has dial up. Here’s hoping she’s not checking e-mail until after her gift has arrived. Otherwise this whole post is a total spoiler for the sweetest 29 year old ever.

I’ve admired this necklace on many a neck, most recently a diamond version on Charlottesville’s own Beth Duffy.

But ruby is nice, and her birthstone.

Again, I think this is something I want.

Well, it’s decision time. What do you think?

Happy 4th everybody!