At some point in my career, I finally gave myself the permission I deserved all along; to work for a great place to work and not limit myself to anything less. I found one, and I’m very happy and feel very fortunate that I’m not likely to be one of the millions of Americans looking for a job this year. If you’re one of them, however, I have some advice.

I’ve been sharing the same words of wisdom to all my young married guy friends for years; they’re concerned because their wives, new moms, moms-to-be or young moms, aren’t happy with their jobs; aren’t earning what they deserve or feel as if they’re not treated as well or as promoteable as their singleton or older-mom peers. In one case, a friend’s wife is nearing the end of her stint as a contract employee, following a major downsizing at her company.

I have Three Steps for the wives/moms/moms-to-be to follow:

1. Tell yourself, loudly and clearly, that you deserve a great job that makes you happy, satisfied and appropriately compensated. Say it every day until you really believe it.

2. Conduct your job search using ONE list: Working Mother’s 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers. These companies have the best benefits, many locations and a culture of support for people like you. Your compensation after your jump should be no less than 10 percent more than you made previously. If you don’t yet have children, but plan to in the future, there’s no better environment in which to find a good maternity leave, and a schedule that works for a future working mom.

3. Do whatever you have to do to hold out for the job you deserve. If it means taking an interim job in the meantime, tomake ends meet, do it, but don’t stop your search. The right job is out there waiting for you.

I’m not going to lie to you; there’s no way to go back to work full time and leave your little bundle of joy in someone else’s care without a few pangs, but here are five ways you can shed some of the guilt on your way out the door:

  1. Write yourself a note for your bulletin board, your dashboard, your laptop or your pocket. Not unlike Homer Simpson’s reminder, covered with pictures of baby Maggie, remind yourself to “do it for her,” or him, or them. Chances are you’re going to work for a paycheck and a career, both will help you to be a better parent and to provide for your children’s future.

2. If this is your first baby, and you’ve been quite literally attached to him since birth, plan some practice runs in the weeks before you return to work. This is a good opportunity for your childcare provider and you to become comfortable before you’re at the office a full day. Use this opportunity take care of yourself. Get a haircut, a massage or a pedicure.

3. Realize that you’re not alone; Michelle Obama, Katie Couric and Angelina Jolie have all left their children to go to work. See, you do have something in common with them. And I guarantee that even they had terrible mornings or moments where they just wanted to give up and go home.

4. Find a community of working moms from whom you can get advice, vent frustrations or find solutions to balancing work and family. If you can’t find one in your community or industry, start one.

5. Try to find a blog post from a guy, or a guy you know who can share the story of the guilt they felt in leaving their little ones to go to work. What’s that? Can’t find one? When all else fails, think like a guy, and go out for a beer on the way home.